Your Bullshit News Trending Today 1/31/18

in #news7 years ago

Republican Trey Gowdy has announced he will not seek re-election.

My first thoughts...Who the Fuck is Trey Gowdy?

Quick google search returned the picture above. This guy who looks like a very odd cross between

Donald Trump

and Fandango

Gross

But apparently he was a part of congress. The following is from CNN

Ok so he called out Hillary for her bullshit. People seem very polarized on this guy, people either love him or hate him. Or you could be like me and not really give a fuck. All politicians are pretty damn scummy.

Speaking of scummy

Stormy Daniels is back in the news. After the story broke that Donald Trump got with this 'performer' I had to do some extensive research on her... (Ok I really just wanted to look at porn)

Now I am a bit of a pornography connoisseur, but why is it whenever these stories of porn stars coming out they are always the ones who are in the cliche porno shitty acting bad jazz music kind of porn?

Seriously I go to all those streaming sites and I never see that shit, but I type in Stormy Daniels and up pops that fake acting cliche shit. The kind of porn I watch requires some actual acting, lets see you drink a smoothie that was made in another person's ass and act like it's the most amazing thing ever. Those porn stars are Oscar level performers. But Ok, what is Stormy Daniels in the news again for?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=371&v=Ntl5Da1vblI
Stormy Daniels was on Jimmy Kimmel which you can watch here


She briefly talked about the press release that just came out saying that the affair with Donald Trump never happened. They were dancing around the idea of Stormy having a non-disclosure agreement where she was paid by Donald Trump's administration. What probably happened here or at the very least what they were clearly implying was that Stormy Daniels made an initial statement that she had sex with Donald Trump in a hotel room while he was married to his wife. The new press release had a different signature on it and it was implied that she didn't have anything to do with it.

My take... Who fucking cares. I mean really, he stuck his dick in a porn star. That's between him and his wife.

We should be talking about more important matters like Hamas. I wonder what they have been up to.

Oh right, I already covered this writing my article 10 Not Politically Correct Jokes About the Co-Founder of Hamas Shooting Himself

The Booze and Bullshit Show

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Beautiful take on politics right here! WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT THESE SCUMS?
I wish them politicians would leave me alone like I leave them.

Thank you for the support. I'm tired of seeing the same articles all the time that are so bland and generic. I figured I'd read the news stories trending right now and make a few jokes and comments on them. I'm sure I'll get better at it as I go.