Mass Shootings, Do We Even Care Anymore?

That's right. I'm asking you. All American citizens. I would genuinely like to know where your priorities lay in regards to other people's lives.

As casual as a Hawaiian rainfall, or dogshit on Harvey Weinstein's lawn, it's happened again. Slugs have flown at yet another school. The population of Florida lost 17 inhabitants today, excluding addicts and old people. And really, why are their deaths any less tragic? Comparing deaths is like comparing dicks. You can do it, but you shouldn't, because you'd be a shithead to do so. It's not a competition, people! It's something you can't change. Now if we had the Dick Olympics...or better yet, the Suicide Olympics, that would be truly newsworthy.

I think it's time we have the conversation. As an American, I'm fucking sick and tired of having to state the obvious. Our politicians need to do something about this for the safety of our children, as the children are our future. We need a full government ban...

On schools.

School is hell. Indoctrination camps for young minds. And the drills they perform in the event of a school shooting--well, that works out well, doesn't it? Allow me to explain. At my high school, the drill was, if a lunatic went apeshit in the building, we'd go into lockdown mode. Lock the doors and hide under your desks. Sound familiar?

Theoretically, the idea is ludicrous and works just as well as it did in the old days. Meaning not at fucking all. Suppose the killer breaks down your door? How are you gonna get out? You have a higher density of children waiting to be turned into Swiss cheese. At least let them make a run for it. Give 'em a fuckin' chance. That's what I would've done. I would've turned the corner just as the maniac bust in and slaughtered my classmates. To top it off, most of the rooms had no windows. No escape. Only blood-splattered brick...theoretically. These are the kind of thoughts, ironically, that got me through my school days without going nuts myself.

Did I ever praise homeschooling as an alternative? Fuck that with a wooden dildo as well. Any adult who takes part in a system that seeks to control the thoughts of children is an automatic suspect pervert, or at the very least an authoritarian piece of shit. Look on the bright side. At least those kids got to go home early. Well, most of them at least.

I'm not asking you to give a shit. Do those dead kids give a shit? No. Their parents do. That's their job. Let them keep their grieving to themselves, and don't make them drink your crocodile tears. The rest of us have the ability to look on the bright side.

On the bright side, we will never run out of people until they play Requiem on CNN at the end of nuclear age. On the bright side, if you like your guns, you get to keep them. I don't give a backfired fuck either way. If anything, more confirmed fatalities saves these people thousands in medical bills. See, I'm just coping the best way I can. If you can't change the laws, change your fucking outlook. Bunch of miserable tear-milking pricks, the lot of ya. Not my readers, of course. You're great. The rest of this country is down the drain, in the sewer, in the fish's mouth and out its ass. History.

Oh well, nobody's bothered to even consider changing the laws. So what can we do? Hope we don't get 2nd-amended in our spare time. The lesson for the children: Stay the fuck away from school, or it could happen to you.