This week I sat down and thought of some limitless places from which low self-esteem is being generated, how a person's history and past relationships with other people have shaped their opinion and how other external factors contribute. Here are some facts on the sources of low self-esteem and how these feelings manifest:
- Disapproval from Authority Figures
I have seen people who grow up hard working, but what ever they do is never appreciated, they are always told that their work, body, or life not good enough, how do this kind of people grow into adults with a positive self-image? If you were criticized no matter what you did or how hard you tried, it becomes difficult to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin later. The shame forced on you for perpetually "failing" can feel blindingly painful.
- Trauma
Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse may be the most striking and apparent causes of low self-esteem. Being forced into any position against your will can make one to dislike the world, lose trust in yourself or trust others, which profoundly impacts self-esteem. Obviously, in these scenarios, there is a lot going on at one time that you might need to ask yourself about, distinguish, or go away from. It can make you feel valueless. In an effort to gain control of your circumstances, in your head you may have convinced yourself that you were complicit or even to blame. You may have found ways to cope with the abuse, to manage the chaos in ways that you understand are unhealthy, so you may essentially view yourself as repulsive and seeringly shameful, among a million other feelings.
- Uninvolved/Preoccupied Parent
If your parents, guardians or other primary caregivers didn’t pay attention to things you feel are valuable to you, then you feel unacknowledged, forgotten and unimportant, it becomes difficult to motivate yourself to want more, aspire for more, and imagine that you deserve more. as a result of being ignored by parents, you are left with this feeling that you are not accountable to anyone, or the believe that no one is concerned about your whereabouts, when that's actually a carry-over feeling from the past. Feeling unknown can result in the belief that you are supposed to apologize for your existence in this world.
- Authority Figures in Conflict
Some parents unknowingly model negative emotions and distrustful characters to their children when they fight or make each other feel badly, this behaviors are absorbed by the children. This leads to scary, overwhelming and disorganizing moments. This experience can also occur when one parent is deeply distraught or acts unpredictably around the child. When you were subjected to excessive conflicts between authority figures, it can feel as if you contributed to the fights or to a parent’s painful circumstance. This feeling of being “tainted” can be carried into adulthood.
- Bullying (with Unsupportive Parents)
If you had the support of a relatively safe, responsive, aware family you may have had a better chance of recovering and salvaging your self esteem after having been taunted and bullied as a child. If you already felt unsafe at home and the torture continued outside home, the overwhelming sense of being lost, abandoned, hopeless, and filled with self-loathing pervaded your everyday life. It can also feel like anyone who befriends you is doing you a favor, because you see yourself as so damaged. Or you may think that anyone involved in your life must be predatory and not to be trusted. Without a supportive home life, the effects of bullying can be magnified and miserably erode quality of life.
Other causes of low self-esteem could be academic challenges without parental support, belief systems, society and the media.
Definitely, each of these sources of low self-esteem plays a role in our lives. It is, however, very important to understand that being in any of these positions doesn’t mean you must be bound by them as an adult. They will stick into your head, and absorbed into your sense in different ways, but there are many paths to feeling that you are better prepared, less shattered, and more confident moving forward. As an adult, when you examine your past, you can begin to see that in some cases the derision or intense negative messages you encountered weren’t necessarily meant for you. Rather, they flowed from the circumstances of the people who delivered them. That perspective can help you to dilute the power of the negative messages about yourself you received and formed. Furthermore, understanding that you are not alone in your experience can help decrease the extent to which you feel isolated and shameful.
@xpency Thank you for your work, I invite you to evaluate my work.
thank you too @waliladeluxe I will check out your page))
Been going through a bit of a low mood over the last week or so, so this was a good post for me to see :-)
I am happy this post helped you out. I also pray you have more strength to fight what ever you are going through.
Thank you for this post and for letting us known how to manage the low esteem syndrome.
you are welcome, it is really sad how I see some people suffering from low self-esteem, I pray they all find a way out of it.
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Wow this is worthy to learn from. Thanks for shearing.