ENTRY 25
I’ve been feeling a bit guilty about the way I dropped Linda. I call her up and arrange to have dinner with her.
We set out on foot walking north, up across Market then through Chinatown, up into North Beach for some Italian food.
After dinner we take our time walking back passing art galleries and department store windows.
We get back to her place and we sit in her room for a while. I still feel guilty about the situation. I just don’t feel right. My reason for breaking up just didn’t add up, it was bullshit.
“Ya know when we broke up,” I start. “I told you something like we weren’t just right together or something, right?”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Well that’s not all of it, and you really should know exactly why I broke up with you.”
She sits curiously waiting.
“The reason I wanted to break up with you was because I was in love with Molly. I slept with her.”
“You fucked Molly?” Linda laughs.
“Yeah, a few times.”
“When did this happen?”
“When you were in New York visiting your friends.”
“You fucked Molly while I was in New York?”
“It’s not like I planned it or anything it just happened.”
“It just happened,” she mocks with sarcasm.
“I know that sounds like bullshit, but that is exactly what happened. Frank talked me into taking her down to her step-mother’s in Arroyo Grande. I didn’t even want to go when it came down to the actual day…”
I tell her the whole thing. The motel, the weekend and the affair afterwards. It seems to give her a little better outlook on things. Afterwards I stand up, pat her on the head and ask, “Do you want me to stay here tonight?” I fearfully wait for the answer. I know I will be unable to turn sex down at this time. Also, I am aware that if I sleep with Linda I will end up getting back together with someone I am not that crazy about.
She giggles for a couple of seconds then answers very firmly, “No, no I don’t think that would be a good idea,” and I walk away relieved.
On the following Friday after work I meet up with Frank, Molly, and Dylan at a bar out on Columbus. It’s kind of a sports bar near the Art Institute. Also, I’ve invited Jimmy Taylor and Mark Doyle to the bar, sure that these two sets of friends will hit it off great.
Frank, Molly, Dylan, and me sit down to a pitcher of Miller. Minutes later Jimmy and Mark walk in. I introduce everyone but there is almost immediately, friction in the air, mostly between Jimmy, and Frank and Dylan. A couple of glasses of beer later Molly and I gravitate towards each other, the both of us finding the other irresistible.
“I see ya got your work boots on there,” I nod to Molly’s steel-toed paint splotched half-boots. I can’t help but feeling like I did a month or so earlier about her looks. Sexy and pretty, still attractive in rough blue-collar attire. We end up reminiscing about our romantic weekend.
“That was great,” I mumble not wanting Frank to overhear this.
“We were bad,” Molly continues.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I respond then add, “I had dinner with Linda this week and I told her everything.”
“No way!” Molly laughs. Then she goes into somewhat of a whisper, “You told her everything about us?”
“Yeah, I felt like I should.”
“Fuck!” she laughs. “I hope he doesn’t hear about it,” she nods a little towards Frank.
“Yeah I know, but I thought she deserved to know the real reason, especially after I dropped her like that.”
After that I start calling Molly at work again. I try to get things going again. She just won’t bite. I still have the same strong feelings for her. One day I decide to try and intercept her coming home from work. I know what time she gets off work. I know which way she walks home from work. I have walked her home on quite a few occasions. I start off walking, leaving the Art Institute at the appropriate time. I walk south on Leavenworth, climb Nob Hill, descend, then turn left on Bush. It’s a sunny spring afternoon. I walk along not really sure if I will see her. But before I’m too far along I see her coming towards me.
“Jack! What’s happenin’?” she greets me unsuspectingly. In my paranoia I’m sure she will suspect I’ve done this on purpose.
“Not much, I’m just goin’ down to some art gallery openings downtown tonight. They start about five.”
“Frank said he saw Linda the other day and she really acted strange and I…I was worried. I mean I was really scared Frank was gonna hear from Russ and them about us. So I just told him. I told him everything.”
Somehow in my mind I convince myself that Frank will be cool with this, because we’ve been great friends for so long. And because he knows he had it coming. We had both fucked her a couple of times together anyway. There had been another time, before a Reverend Horton Heat gig, that we’d had another little ‘orgy’. So no big deal if I fucked her a couple of times when he wasn’t around. I don’t think about the fact that I tried desperately to steal her from him.
I call Frank the next night to see about band practice.
“Hey,” I respond after he answers the phone.
“What the fuck do you want!” he yells.
“I want some lovin’,” I answer.
At this point in the call everything is normal. We often go on like this.
Then, “Don’t ever fuckin’ call here again! And you know why!”
Photo by Hoffacurse
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