My mind has opened to many new things and many things I had misconstrued I see with clarity. Today I will be writing about something I was massively wrong about.
Shaming and more specifically SPH (small penis humiliation)
No offense to anyone (unless you want to be offended) please read all the way through to see how my point of view is changing and has changed.
A peek into my past.
Throughout my life, I was made to feel less than adequate. Instead of feeling bad about myself, I would find people less fortunate than myself often because they were being picked on by bullies and I stood up for them. I flocked to the disabled and less fortunate. My best friend in high school had cerebral palsy, we became friends after I chased 3 boys down throwing the one into a locker and forcing him to go back and apologize and help pick up papers he had knocked out of her hands while knocking her over. I was wearing 6" high heels with 2" platform a babydoll dress and striped pantyhose, I might add! I had another friend that was blind and 2 more that were deaf. As, a result I always tried to help others feel good about themselves without adding shit to the pot, so to speak. All this started because I had a verbally, physically, and emotionally abusive mom.
In my ignorance.
I always assumed putting people down was a form of abuse and did not ever want to make anyone feel the way my mother made me feel. I always felt worthless, shameful, embarrassed, among a few other descriptive words. Basically, this put it in my head that "put-downs" and shaming was bad. All the way down to my fibers, I felt that I was bad for even thinking about someone in a mean way(unless they deserved it). I thought this was one of the worst acts I could commit. I never realized how much shame and humility are good for a person.
The Nurturer in me.
I have tried to teach others to respect that they were born the way they were for a reason, I have made big girls learn to embrace the beauty in being big, a blind girl enjoys the extra senses she had and the ugliness she didn't have to see. A girl with cerebral palsy who never thought she could put on her own shoes or bra or shave her legs and even drive a car, I taught how to do those things without assistance (when her father found about about me teaching her to drive he was pissed then thanked me and had a device made for a car for her). I have helped a lot of people in different ways. Most importantly I have helped guys feel better about their size as not all women want a big dick.... just as all men are different sizes all women are different sizes. (fact). I can now say I have performed SPH, and I may not be the best at it or even good at it yet but I feel that I am growing and learning and evolving.
Oh, how I have changed.
Well, recently I decided I needed to research all these terms I was unfamiliar with among them was SPH. I always thought it was called cock shaming. Then a met a special someone and another someone both wanting me to SPH them. I could not do it at first, I fought it. Then I did a little more research and found that by the humiliation they grew confident and got those warm fuzzy feelings most people get when complimented. A Lot of other forms of Humiliation are often paired together and I have started reading up on those as well. Also looking back at my humiliation and embarrassment, how much different would I be now without it? It taught me how to be humble, kind, forgiving, and giving. So I feel if humiliation is what they need for them to feel good then why not do it, just make sure and ask when it is not appropriate and what can cross a line (know what their limits are). And don't just be a Dick to be a Dick or a bitch to be a bitch.
Why this is a good thing.
Because when they feel special and you can see that filling this desire for them fills a void you had known was there you can answer this one yourself.
What's coming up?
This next entry is going to be something very personal and very embarrassing. You will just have to read it to find out why.