"Beautiful young lady, spread that asshole!" Oscar, my photographer, continuously interjects with these words of encouragement and direction. It actually helped a lot; I was incredibly self conscious, and there was something about his tone and inflection that came off as very sincere. It helped to raise my confidence, which is something I needed.
My first pro shoot consisted of 2 sets, each consisting of approximately 200 photos followed by a 15 minute video. In the first video, I would play with myself with the goal of maintaining an erection, but not cum. The second would consist of me fapping to completion.
The shoot took place in DFW, and I lived in Denton. I didn't have a car, so I had to take a greyhound bus. I was quite nervous the night before, so I didn't sleep well. When I woke, I gathered all of my things and headed out. It was when I got on the bus that I realized I forgot both my lipstick and nail polish; I was off to quite the start, and I considered using eyeshadow as lipstick. Thankfully I didn't, though I did post some funny tweets about it.
I arrived at the greyhound station 4 hours before the shoot began. I kept to myself and messed around online to pass the time; at one point, as I was outside smoking a cigarette, this large gentleman struck up a conversation with me. He asked me "So why aren't you doing porn?" I stood there for a second, punch drunk, before saying "Oscar?"
"Who's Oscar?", he replied.
It was a random guy, a random guy who on the day of my shoot thought it was normal conversation to tell me wed get millions of views if we made a porn together. I considered it a good omen.
The time to leave came, and I took the hour trek to the hotel. I arrived, shaking from nerves, and got my first glimpse of Oscar. He was hot, which is something I had not factored into my equation.
The first set was typical; I dressed in my sluttiest 16 year old chola (I'm just latin enough to say that without it being appropriation) clothes and got to undressing. One thing I wasn't aware of was just how quickly you run out of interesting ways to pose. Furthermore, the bulk of the set was on me; I had to come up with the outfits, makeup, poses, themes, etc.. I wasn't aware of this, and I feel as if I would have done much better with the appropriate preparation. When the video came, a problem emerged; on hormone replacement therapy, it's often true that erectile dysfunction occurs. It occurred with me.
Porn is very meta; it's often the case that the performer views pornography in order to stay aroused in between sets. Remember how I sad Oscar was hot? I viewed him. I'm not sure if it bothered him.
The second set comes along, for this one I used a dildo with lotion for lube. I favored lotion because the creamy white look of lotion is hotter in my opinion, and this is when the asshole spreading occurred. Mercifully, I had no problem with an erection by the time of the second video. I was actually quite aroused; 4 hours of teasing turned me into a geyser.
The day after my shoot, I was stricken with the idea that maybe I wasn't up to par that day; my makeup was bad, I looked tired and emaciated, etc etc. The company I shot for was awesome, but due to my own strange feelings of guilt n perfectionism n stuff, I was obsessed with the need for redemption, so I scheduled an amateur hardcore shot with a fellow trans girl; I've included shots from that because I'm not allowed to use my pro shots for independent profit. Enjoy!
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For those interested, the HC shot is here
The name of the model I'm working with is Jamie Gaymer
Ill leave info about my pro shoot if anyone is interested https://www.manyvids.com/Video/383379/40-Jamie-G-and-Olivia-Oxide/
thanks for sharing . i am discovering your blog and your univers. you look so sexy , so nice and open minded .i love your sexy post you share with us your intimity i am so proud of that kind of choice . Love hop your project will realise