"Beautiful young lady, spread that asshole!" Oscar, my photographer, continuously interjects with these words of encouragement and direction. It actually helped a lot; I was incredibly self conscious, and there was something about his tone and inflection that came off as very sincere. It helped to raise my confidence, which is something I needed.
My first pro shoot consisted of 2 sets, each consisting of approximately 200 photos followed by a 15 minute video. In the first video, I would play with myself with the goal of maintaining an erection, but not cum. The second would consist of me fapping to completion.
The shoot took place in DFW, and I lived in Denton. I didn't have a car, so I had to take a greyhound bus. I was quite nervous the night before, so I didn't sleep well. When I woke, I gathered all of my things and headed out. It was when I got on the bus that I realized I forgot both my lipstick and nail polish; I was off to quite the start, and I considered using eyeshadow as lipstick. Thankfully I didn't, though I did post some funny tweets about it.
I arrived at the greyhound station 4 hours before the shoot began. I kept to myself and messed around online to pass the time; at one point, as I was outside smoking a cigarette, this large gentleman struck up a conversation with me. He asked me "So why aren't you doing porn?" I stood there for a second, punch drunk, before saying "Oscar?"
"Who's Oscar?", he replied.
It was a random guy, a random guy who on the day of my shoot thought it was normal conversation to tell me wed get millions of views if we made a porn together. I considered it a good omen.
The time to leave came, and I took the hour trek to the hotel. I arrived, shaking from nerves, and got my first glimpse of Oscar. He was hot, which is something I had not factored into my equation.
The first set was typical; I dressed in my sluttiest 16 year old chola (I'm just latin enough to say that without it being appropriation) clothes and got to undressing. One thing I wasn't aware of was just how quickly you run out of interesting ways to pose. Furthermore, the bulk of the set was on me; I had to come up with the outfits, makeup, poses, themes, etc.. I wasn't aware of this, and I feel as if I would have done much better with the appropriate preparation. When the video came, a problem emerged; on hormone replacement therapy, it's often true that erectile dysfunction occurs. It occurred with me.
Porn is very meta; it's often the case that the performer views pornography in order to stay aroused in between sets. Remember how I sad Oscar was hot? I viewed him. I'm not sure if it bothered him.
The second set comes along, for this one I used a dildo with lotion for lube. I favored lotion because the creamy white look of lotion is hotter in my opinion, and this is when the asshole spreading occurred. Mercifully, I had no problem with an erection by the time of the second video. I was actually quite aroused; 4 hours of teasing turned me into a geyser.
The day after my shoot, I was stricken with the idea that maybe I wasn't up to par that day; my makeup was bad, I looked tired and emaciated, etc etc. The company I shot for was awesome, but due to my own strange feelings of guilt n perfectionism n stuff, I was obsessed with the need for redemption, so I scheduled an amateur hardcore shot with a fellow trans girl; I've included shots from that because I'm not allowed to use my pro shots for independent profit. Enjoy!
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For those interested, the HC shot is here
https://www.manyvids.com/Video/383379/40-Jamie-G-and-Olivia-Oxide/
The name of the model I'm working with is Jamie Gaymer
Ill leave info about my pro shoot if anyone is interested
thanks for sharing . i am discovering your blog and your univers. you look so sexy , so nice and open minded .i love your sexy post you share with us your intimity i am so proud of that kind of choice . Love hop your project will realise