Hello Steemit. It's the Dick Pic Critic here.
I wanted to share with you my latest find. This comes to us from a man in New Jersey. I don't know his name or anything else about him. I only that he sent me his dick. I don't know why he chose to send it to me but he did.
So here I show to you this lovely penis that I have nicknamed Cockzilla.
In general, the shape of the phallus is aesthetically pleasing. But, let's dig a little deeper, shall we?
The length makes me want to do dirty, dirty things to that man. Now, this could be a lighting effect or it could simply be Photoshop. I'm not sure which, but it makes me want to know more. If only I could get his name...
The girth alone would be worth the stitches. Wait, who am I kidding? It's never worth the stitches... Impressive though it is, I don't think I would be risking it. My poor bum hurts just thinking about it...
The testicles seem rather disproportionate to the, admittedly awesome size of his... Well, Junior Partner wouldn't be apropos, would it? At the risk of sounding patriotic... Commander in Chief? They seem somewhat lumpy as well... May want to consider seeing a doctor.
Overall, I would say that this phallus ranks an 8 on my scale. Not quite perfect, but close enough to count.
Normally, I would roast this dick for the simple entertainment of it. Regrettably, I haven't been feeling quite myself lately. I am back and ready for action, though. You can expect to see more of these types of posts from me.
This is the Dick Pic Critic, signing off.
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