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RE: Still alive?

in #ocdlast year

Hey, clearly I had no idea and I'm so sorry for you and your sister. Losing a parent is terrible, I have lost both of mine, (cancer) however the suddenness of a heart attack or car wreck is something else again. I'm not going to say, I know how you feel because I do not, but I've lost people in sudden ways like this and know I felt, which was...well, I guess devastated, confused, angry, alone...many things.

Dealing with a death, the emotional side, doesn't end with the mourning period, and as family members it's a difficult process of dealing with the logistical aspects, the estate of the deceased and their affairs. I did this for both parents and a few others and it's a terrible process; I do not envy you and empathise with your situation. Meltdowns are permitted ok?

I am one who confronts death, my own and others, as I'm quite pragmatic; I know it will happen. I guess, that thought helps me live better every day, like I feel more inclined to get the best of those days, and myself, because I know it'll end eventually. I believe that's the best way to go, for me at least. I often tell people to call their loved ones, tell the people they care for and value that they care for them and value them, one never knows when the chance to do so will be gone...and regret is a poor companion.

I'm so sorry this has come to pass and am sending my thoughts to you and your sister. Our departed loved ones go everywhere we go because we carry them in our hearts and memories, it's of comfort to me, and it will be for you I believe.

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Thank you for your kind words.

I haven't told that many people about this as I usually don't tell that much about my life anyway, except to those people who just happen to be there at the right moment so how could you even know.

I know you know how horrible loosing a loved one is and even if someone expressing their condolences wouldn't know, I really do appreciate the thought and the words.

The logistical aspect truly is terrifying and painful. To someone who is mourning and has very little strength to do things has to do somersaults and bend over backwards to get things done as, especially in our case, the insurance company seems to find new things to make our lives more miserable than it already is. "Sorry for your lose but here's a trailer insurance we will make you pay starting from the year 2006 if you don't immediately explain where it was sold back then and find a document of that sale." This actually is one of the things the bloody blood sucker demands us to fix. I surely hope the meltdown helps with the insurance vampire but I think it might not.

Thank you again for your words, I can't fathom the fact how quick you always are with your comments and answers. But it truly warms my heart and sorry it always takes so long for me to comment or post or... do anything here. :)

We all feel it and react in different ways and your own way is the right way. It's so terrible, dealing with it, but we have to and the only way to get through difficulties like this is to keep going..

The logistical night mare of settling things is the same the world over and is a disgusting process at a time when most people are emotionally wrung out, distraught and not thinking clearly. I had this with my mum when she passed away, it was such a horrible time, so difficult in every way due to her lack of preparation. With my dad, I worked ahead to have everything done early and it was easier, he had dementia so was compliant, still hard though, but easier.

I don't envy you and yes, sometimes businesses are totally uncaring. I do not envy you having to do it. Little by little though, you'll get there...and if you have a meltdown now and then it's ok.

I'm glad my message reached you at the right time, and don't worry about how long your answers take, just do your thing, I'll be here when you're around.

Find some peace over the weekend, some time for yourself and relax a little if you can.

No time to rest yet, too long anyway, but getting there. Too many things to do but I'll just take one day at a time.

One day at a time works. I hope you have some support up there and that you remember you also need to look after yourself. 🙂