Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, probably the most stereotypical disease out there. Anyone can say " Oh i have to clean my room everyday, i'm so OCD", and everyone laughs and carry on with there day. But the ones who actually have OCD want to punch them in the face. If they can switch shoes with me, and live a day in my shoes, they would understand how disabling it can be.
When I wake up in the morning, I brush my teeth, I have to rinse my mouth with my left hand 4 times, never less or more, and never the right. I eat eggs, never cereal because it changes the day from good to bad. I do everything according to the even numbers of the clock. If I want a bagel, and its 1:13, I will not have a bagel, but if it were 1:14 i would toast it and spread it with creme cheese and indulge.
The repetitive thoughts that run through my head, day in and out never cease to exist. I've been through so many Medications that i no longer feel anything. I can tell myself all day its not real, that the panic attacks and the anxiety and the repetitions and the rituals are all in my head. And how they may be in my head, it is not imaginary.
I cant remember how many times I ended up in the shower and had to get my mother to come haul me out of my head and take my Klonopin so i can come back to Earth. If only their were more awareness about Mental Illnesses the people who have it would not have to suffer as much as we do.
Good thoughts
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