Wow - I'm terribly sorry to hear that news. I'm sure your emotions are a roller coaster with all of this, but it sounds like you're being proactive with the surgery and attacking the problem rather than running from it. As far as the police training goes, maybe you're right (that life is hinting strongly to you to go in another direction), or maybe life is just hitting pause for you right now. I think you're definitely doing the right thing by reflecting and figuring out your next move.