Here is the 6th and final song to my van travels EP. Written while I traveled around Australia in my van, and also recorded in my van using a basic laptop - audio interface - condenser mic setup.
Link Here
https://soundcloud.com/matt_blackwell/fear-anxiety
This song tells a story about my experiences of anxiety, and how I have come to manage it so that I can keep my mental health in check. Read on below for more :D.
I was about 14 when I first had an anxiety attack. I struggled with this for a short period and then the worst of it disappeared. But ever since, it's like anxiety is laying dormant under the surface and still, on occasion I can feel it rising up inside me. Since then I've had only one proper anxiety attack, maybe two years ago.
Over the years I've found ways to manage my mental health, that work well for me. Obviously I'm not a mental health professional but I wanted to put these ideas into song, with the intention that anyone listening could see how someone else is managing anxiety and to see some options that they may not have discovered or been presented with that could possibly help them.
Basically, I have two ways that I use to keep mentally fit. The first method I have found recently is a basic fundamental of Buddhist practices, but I learnt it a while ago through a more mainstream forum. I was listening to a podcast and the interviewee was talking about their own experience of anxiety. They said, whenever they feel anxiety they imagine their body as their home. They imagine opening the front door to receive the anxiety as a guest. They let it exist in the home briefly, then picture themselves letting the anxiety out the backdoor into the garden. This has the effect of viewing the anxiety objectively, detaching yourself from its control and allowing the feeling to dissolve away. Rather than running from the suffering that is anxiety, if we accept it and love it we can empower and liberate ourselves from it. You may hear lyrics in the song that talk about finding a solution 'within objectivity', or 'love it to set it free' which describe this method.
My second remedy is meditation. When I was about 10 years old my dad organised for our family to learn Transcendental Meditation. A woman arrived at our house one day. She brought with her a framed photo of the T.M. guru which she placed on the mantle in the lounge. She lit some incense and taught us the technique. I didn't start properly practicing this meditation until in my 20's, but now I meditate 20 minutes a day in the morning most days. It calms the chaos down in my brain and allows me to focus better. The feeling that it gives me is the opposite of anxiety, and I know that my mental fitness is improved when I'm using this practice. The chorus in this song has a lyric stating 'I was given a remedy, in this mantra lies the key'. TM is a mantra meditation, and is just one type of meditation of many techniques that exist.
That is a summary of the song, and I hope that someone out there will perhaps benefit from my explanation of the song and its lyrics :D.
Peace and love :D
Lyrics
I got a fear anxiety, inside of me, and its taking hold,
When I got no remedy, for this calamity, I've played my cards and so I fold,
I got this fear anxiety, modern society, just a product of the world,
When the lights go out on me, pitch black is all I see, blinded and hopeless up until,
I was given a remedy, in this mantra lies the key,
I found a recipe, within objectivity,
Averts catastrophe, with this magic I'll survive,
Observe the fear in me, dissolves it all inside,
I got a fear anxiety, inside of me, and I'm fucking cold,
This fear's a part of me, my own reality, follows me everywhere I go,
When this fear takes over me, like a dramatic thief, trying his best to steal the show,
When he's got my sanity, I gotta break free, gotta lock him up, and let him know,
I was given a remedy, in this mantra lies the key,
I found a recipe, within objectivity,
Averts catastrophe, with this magic I'll survive,
Observe the fear in me, dissolves it all inside,
I got this fear anxiety, but now I got the key, can do anything I want,
This fear's no enemy, just another energy, shape it into my own mold,
This fear's a part of me, not just a coffee thing, follows me everywhere I go,
When this fear takes over me, love it to set if free, it's just another object on the wall,
I was given a remedy, in this mantra lies the key,
I found a recipe, within objectivity,
Averts catastrophe, with this magic I'll survive,
Observe the fear in me, dissolves it all inside,
Dissolves it all away,
Dissolves it all away,
Dissolves it all away,
With this mantra I'll be free.