Alright, so, there's these wood's. In them are trees and water and other things because they're wood's and no wood's call their self that without trees and water and other things but this isn't about that, pay attention.
Some fall and some flaccid
All are attracted to spring
Some sing and some don't
All claim to know everything
So, anyway, trees and branches and sticks and they're all flailing around effortlessly like windsocks at the airport. Sun rays, spider webs, they're all there.
Sun rays go, "man, I really dig your legs" and the wood's go, "thanks, sun rays!"
Spider webs go, "Ima weave a web right here" and the wood's go, "make yourself at home, spider webs!"
Harmonious.
Glorious.
Thesaurus ran out of ways to describe the place. And then they got wind of another wood's.
Lurking, across the pond.
In the other one are more females and they're hotter and taller, stronger and nicer and blow sexier than all the other female trees.
Discontent brewed.
Rumors simmered like crock pot dining.
The young male wood's made a pact—took up a petition and went, "LOOK! All the single female trees here grow sideways anyway. My roots haven't seen sunlight since only broccoli smelled like farts."
Yeah!
Yeah!
Instant approval—ratings through the roof. The lot of male wood's in attendance agreed unanimously and, by next light, a plan was hatched:
Enemy fast asleep
Creep stealthily in winter wear
Lighter than a whisper on their feet
Enemy buried in boulders
Return victoriously each male tree
With a female over his shoulder
They need a leader. A sharp wood with a mind like an elephant and hung like a donkey. One who can navigate across the pond in the dark and return successfully with zero casualties and more females than all the other wood's combined.
"Joe!" They exclaimed. Half the wood's insisted Joe lead them across the pond and the other half was like "fuck, Joe!! He's a fuckin idiot! Dude can't complete a sentence and he's always fumbling at air like he can't find the light switch."
"He's too old, what is he, 1,000!?" Another young wood chimed in. "He'll die before we get there" said another. "Whoever follows Joe deserves to drown" shouts another and the wood's were divided.
"If not Joe, then who?" Cries the tallest wood in the wood's. "We need a competent leader!"
"Just not Joe, he's older than penicillin. Gonna fall any day."
"Joe sucks!"
And then another wood stood tall and was all, "what about Don? Cheeky wood with the nest up top who's better than everyone and knows everything."
"Yeah, him!!" Another emerged from the woodwork, "he grabs women by the pussy, it's all over the internet!"
"Don?!" Interrupts a Joe, "he was found guilty of sexual miscondu..." ..Female tree sprouts up out of nowhere, "yeah, Don! Assault, misogyny, narcissist, ALL that shit! I wanna suck his Nixon!!"
The Joe's don't know what to do, they thought they had this one in the bag—panic mode sets in.
The Don's are like, everything he says is a lie and it's working, "bring it home Don!" Porn stars bought with campaign money and they still follow like herpes.
"34 felonies!" Another Joe shouts. "I can't run in place with ONE felony and this clown's running for..."
"..I'd rather a felon than a corpse!"
This is what happens when I haven't posted for awhile and instead do things like hang out with my imagination. Crazy, right? Imagination, that is. I mean, seriously, a dead guy vs a sex offender for the championship belt of the wood's?? LoL. Yeah, right. Like that'll ever happen.
I see you stopped over ! Thanks ! Now where is the next crazy post we have all gotten to know and love??? Hope you and yours are doing well.
I'm getting pretty good with this camera, check it out!! I made a chihuahua in January look like a GSD in July..
Wow ! That is SO amazing! 🤣
How long do you think it will take to teach your dog to take YOUR photo?
Thing is, she's got paws. Even with trimmed nails which I do manicure regularly, without a finger to click the button thing, her claws get in the way and blurs the image.
That's the Eiffel Tower.
That made me laugh !
Maybe she could push the button with her nose.
Nuff about trees!
I'm reading all the tree-talk while the corners of my eyes are being distracted (both, imagine how these eyes move at that moment!) because it seems like a video is playing in the background of this screen.
I'm wondering did I leave a video tab open, but why the heck is it showing as a different layer here on Peakd. I close this post and see your freaking annoying header gif or whatever it is.
Djeez, people go nuts for less than this. Was intentionally probably, I guessed it right, right?
TreeHug, or was it three hugs? Forgot...
!PIMP it anyway
It's just a freaking annoying header gif I guess. Never heard it called that before but I can't really argue it.
Good morning.
Trees, Woods. What a joke. Don't even have to practice or enlist guest writers or anything. Just repeat what they say and you've got a decent bit.
Good morning, afternoon, or whatever time zone you're in :)
Have a good weekend over there!
Good morning, it's still that. Spreading a lot of rock today. River rock and stepping stones. Been working way too hard on landscaping recently. Building decks n shit at the same time I'm learning how to pour concrete.
You must be killin' it out here!
@thisismylife just slapped you with 20.000 PIMP, @dandays.
You earned 20.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 4/4 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
That was beautiful. I'm figuratively tearing up over here. Wanna start a revolution together? We can make people see the forest through the trees.
You have an uncanny knack for posting when I'm not looking. Keep up the good work.
I'm posting like once a month, I think you mean uncanny knack for looking the other way...
= }
Whaddup. Yeah I'm totally down. Revolutionize or maybe just run for office and legalize weed and shrooms.
Vote for me! I'm pro abortion and pro castration for first time sexual offenders. Knockin shit out the park. Figuratively.
I suppose... I do have a knack for uncanny timing...
I'll vote for ya twice, and even campaign for you. Vote for Dandays! He'll get the shit out of the park!
I'm waiting for you to sing and the green grass grows all around, all around and the green grass grows all around!
!PIZZA
I should know the words to this. I'm looking around, all around and can't find them.
Check the nest! The prettiest nest! That you ever did see! You know the nest on the branch, and the branch on the tree and the tree in the hole and the green grass grows all around all around, and the green grass grows all around!!
Ringing any bells here? Or do I just sound crazier than normal?
Also how goes the nerve farming?
Only bells are hip bone, leg bone and thigh bone but I don't think that's the right bell.
Hello. Good morning. It's Saturday. I can't be expected to know what month it is.
I'd guess about 50% of the hand came back. Not more than that. Can't lift anything heavy with it or my elbow feels like it's gonna explode. Haven't drawn or painted or sketched anything since February last year. Guess that's previous life stuff now.
Thank you for asking.
Them bones, them bones, them bones, then dry bones ...
Good day, hello, good evening. It's Sunday night and I think I feel uncomfortable.
Saw 50,% is something though... Like enough kinda trex it. So is this as good as it gets? You could always draw with AI or train your other hand. Or use stencils. I quite like the fingerprint art. I'm keen on that!
Oh, for sure! I'll take it. I'm not complaining. It's so much better than zero. There's always time to improve but it's been in this state for awhile. Can't squeeze a trigger or one of those extended lighters or anything like that but I can hold a bar a soap! I know a dude with one arm who can't even do that so this is not a complaint.
Hello.
Your whole comment section already said Aerosmith. >¿<
Didn't take as a complaint but an update. I suppose I'm also processing it. So looking at it glass half full, look how that just sneaked in there. That's great news, I mean you not want to be dropping soap, especially in the shower. .. with Steven Tyler around... One way to make your whole body go numb....
Our world is in better shape with trees on it! I hope there are communities who are supportive in tree planting activities. I love the picture with trees and the sun.
Pretty sure the only thing that'll fix this is a forest fire...
About time for California to kick those off, what's taking so long?
It's all San Andreas's Fault.
That cracked me up.
😅
You've had a great journey... through the trees.
Hello.
It's been a helluva trip. Last time the wood's were all bla bla vote for me I stepped in dog shit. Only thing worse than stepping in dog shit is when it's not your dog.
<3 Thank you.
I know it's beside the point but... did you see the Times cover? What a great design and communication team.
Now I did. What she said!
Thanks for being beside the point, I might've missed that one. All that.. They love it.
😉
😍
Welcome to my blog, most creative blog in Indonesia
Hahahah🤣🤣🤣
Wow brother, the way you described the woods feels like a whole world coming to life. This has to be about trees hehehe !WEED
Yes, of course. Wood's. I hope I conveyed that clearly, I don't wanna confuse anyone, know what I mean? It's about trees.
Cheers dude. Appreciate you keeping up with me.
Yep brother, when I read it I knew this could easily mean something else man 😂😂😂😂😂😂 it's definitely about trees and wood 😂😂😂😂
Wood's, with an s. Totally different.
Yes brother totally totally different thing
Howcome your reply doesn't alert my notifications?
Yes brother I got attacked by Bilpcoin without they even telling me why. My goodness I didn't even know it will affect me this way where my reply don't even bring notifications. They actually dropped my rep but thankfully they didn't hit me with high HP. I am even preparing a whole blog about it to see where I would get help from. I wish they would just tell me the reason for this attack because I follow every single rule and work so hard to grow on this platform.
Now the trees have politics ! Who knew ?!
I like your poems.
I love trees.
Take females forcefully and fight for some wood they've never met... ha!! I got a crazy imagination.
Thank you.
Creative !
iheart white corn. Is that corny?
It's very corny, I mean, what else could corn be but corny??
I mean the iheart part instead of using an emoji.
I did like the iheart thing.
My response went into left field. Eating corn.... Corn Hole game.... well, you may have had to be there, you know, in my head to see where that came from. LOL !!
You know, for some reason, I want to know what it feels like to spend a day in your mind. Would I die of excitement or would I need therapy afterwards?😄
Hey, I resemble that remark! Nah, not really. Hello. Been a minute. Always nice to see you.
Really, though, I went to therapy once for about a year. What a trip. By the end of the sessions, he told me all about his marriage and the affair, they're not together anymore... kids.. yata yata.
Guess he needed someone to talk to.
Lol. Why am I not surprised you ended up being the therapist instead?
How soon will you be here before you vanish again?😄
If I coulda figured out how to word this I woulda been back in a few seconds. Been here a couple minutes now. Still haven't figured out what to say.
Lol. How can I say I get it without saying I get it. It's all good D and A.
I felt pretty good about my response time til you crushed it.
👍
!LOLZ
!LUV
!PIZZA
Cheers Eii.
$PIZZA slices delivered:
mimismartypants tipped dandays
@eii(1/10) tipped @dandays
@dandays!
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