She froze and stared at him, wanting nothing more than to drop her body on the floor, to kick and scream like a toddler, wanting to do anything but act like an adult. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she tried to think about what she was about to say.
Let's just start with things you can do right now. Quit putting words in my mouth and quit putting yourself down, or I will punch you in the nose, I swear. Don't assume you know how I feel and stop telling me to stop. I'll do what I want and like it because I'm the one who has to sit in it after I'm done. I'm the one that has to live up to what I say do or not. Get me?" She opened her eyes to look at him, staring again for a moment before giving in, pulling a chair next to his. She even sat on it sideways to face him. Not being five meant you couldn't get away with anything.
"She felt like a threat. I felt like I was supposed to be competing with her for your attention or something. I didn't like it, Aaron." Great. Now she sounded like a possessive psycho. What best friend couldn't handle another girl around? Her. She couldn't help but sigh as she leaned towards him, her hand hesitating as she reached out to grab his wrist, unsure if it was okay to touch him. "I compete enough at school. I certainly don't need to do it at home with my best friend. I would lose and I never want anyone to take you away from me." Kevin didn't need help in the 'lose your best friend' race. She was letting herself get in her own way as it was.
"I was angry because I assumed I knew what was going on and apparently I didn't. I was wrong and I'm sorry, but I was scared too. The scared part was what really kept me away. Not because I didn't want to be responsible for crushing your anything. It's a me thing, a Kevine thing, not a you thing. You’ve never even asked me how I felt about the whole thing, you just assume that you know." It sounded better than saying that you didn't think you were loveable, right? Like Kevin couldn't do love right. She felt like she should have put her 'mommy issues' up on a shelf by now, but there they were, getting the best of her. It was embarrassing. "And I never said you didn't care, I said you didn't try. If you didn't care you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't put up with me. I'm a mess and we both know it. So, you stop it." She couldn't help the smile that curled in the corner of her mouth. Not being five didn't mean you couldn't be a brat. Kevin sat up straighter, watching her friend, more determined this time. "I don't think you understand how amazing you are, Aaron. You could easily brighten any girl's day by being in it; you just have to be you. Shy, talented musician, rambling gentleman, and awkward zombie creeper extraordinaire. Just you. I don't know why you have to keep putting yourself down." Or at least that was how it went for her. She was sure that was how it went for other girls too. If he was over her like he had suggested he was, she wanted someone to appreciate him as is. Even if that person wasn't her. That was fine. She could just go along with it. She was great at pretending when she wanted to. Fledging theater actress extraordinaire Kevine good at pretending. So there.
As fast as her ounce of confidence in her words came, it galloped back out and jumped off a cliff, leaving her mouth dry as she deflated and looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry I ran off. I am here though and I do want to talk." She wasn't lying and she hated that he thought she didn't mean it. "I don't want to go another year without talking to you, I don't want to wait forever for you to call, and if either of us leaves, you probably won't. I miss you. I missed you a lot, actually, I hate that I've wasted a whole summer without you. If we were together, we'd be doing something fun. Zombie killing fun."
-end-
This short story was written by KC Lio. She is a resident writer at https://0blivio.us.
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