My Atheistic Beliefs
Ever since I was a kid, I knew that there is nothing more powerful than humans. No animal, no natural disaster, no problem could bring humanity down or even make it kneel. Humanity survived plagues, food shortages, natural predators and created something that nothing on earth could copy. That was my thinking back then. It followed me into my high school years. Because of my beliefs, I wasn't really popular throughout my early and late childhood. I have been neglected because of it ( when you live in a village in a conservative country you can't expect anything else ). I was an atheist and my parents had nothing against it for some reason.
The Road Downhill
The year was 2014, and it wasn't a good one for me. At the time, my girlfriend was losing feelings for me, and because of it, my grades were failing as well. I was in a bad place. I felt powerless, had no control over my life. Like I wasn't holding a steering wheel and was headed to the cliff. My mental health which wasn't good to begin with was also degrading. All this started piling up near my birthday. My grades and absences were discovered by my parents. You get the idea by now.
One day I stumbled across a great-sounding metal band. The fact it was satanic didn't matter to me, the shit was good. The same day I found myself singing one of their songs unintentionally. An earworm if you will. The same song was stuck in my head on repeat. Soon the night came and I was getting ready to go to sleep. But the song didn't stop playing. I couldn't sleep at this point because of this song.
The Night That Changed Everything
I started singing the lyrics quietly in my bed. But something odd was happening. Every time I said Lucifer or Satan, my ears would start to buzz. Once I realized that I started doing it intentionally. The buzz started to become louder and louder, soon it turned into pain. I thought to myself "This is weird, this shouldn't be happening, there is no reason for it to happen". The pain became so great that my body felt numb and my head was about to burst open. I couldn't see anyone. I was alone in my room and was able to move. So that put sleep paralysis out of the question. I said out loud " Stop ". All pain stopped, the buzz disappeared and I was confused. This made no sense and my atheism couldn't understand what was happening. Me being me, I repeated the process. Sang the same song and boom, the buzzing and the pain returned with the same magnitude. This made no sense to me. I said, almost screamed, " demons aren't real ". The pain stopped, the buzz started. I sat on my bed when suddenly my pen flew from my table, across my room, and hit the wall near me. That pen killed my atheistic mindset in a second. Unable to comprehend or understand what was happening. But somehow, in all that disbelief I remained calm physically. I thought to myself " well I'm not dead nor harmed, this THING has some other intention, if IT wanted I would already be dead ". I came up with an experiment. Let's see if it's here to help me in some way. I told IT I wanted a bigger allowance, to revive the spark in my relationship, and to be led off early from school practice. The buzz stopped and my mind was empty. I fell asleep easily as if nothing had happened.
The next day I woke up, got ready, and headed to my school practice. It was a 2.5 km walk from the house. A few hours pass at the practice and I get bored. I thought to myself " If only I got sick so they had to drive me back home ". After 10 minutes, I got sick. I was pale, my chest was tight and I was seconds away from throwing up. I complained that I wasn't feeling good, and they immediately drove me home. Once I got home I took a shower and suddenly I was feeling great. Like nothing happened. 1 wish down 2 to go. I visited my parents at work so they could lend me some money. Instead of 20 HRK (3$ or 2.6€) they gave me 200 HRK. My mind was blown away. 2 down 1 to go. The moment I left my parents' work, my girlfriend called me to hang out. We sorted it all out there and then. I couldn't explain to myself what and how it happened but it did.
My atheism died, and my problems were solved in one day.
Well most of them, my grades started to look better after that day.
Did it backfire? Yeah but that's for another post another time.
Tell me what was your experience with the paranormal. I'm always intrigued to hear these stories. In my lifetime heard stories far more gruesome and horrifying than mine.
P.S. sorry for my English 🇭🇷