I see you, although sometimes it may not seem like I do. You are important and appreciated. But sometimes you get lost in the shuffle.
You march to the beat of your own drum. And I’ve always loved that about you. But you have three other siblings who can easily drown your thunder. It’s hard to be noticed sometimes.
But I see you. I know how hard you try. Sometimes it never seems to work out and you are cast in the role of the villain. I see that too. You are not the bad guy.
You feel left out at times. I feel your pain. As a result you may lash out and feel misunderstood. But I understand you. I may not always show it. I may get angry over things that aren’t worth it. I am sorry. I will try to do better.
You are my first-born. That’s a big deal when you are a triplet. I have to be a mom to all of you. Sometimes that isn’t enough – you may need more from me. You had me 100% for 5 weeks while your brother and sister were gone. You didn’t have to share. You didn’t have to compromise. Then they came home and your world was turned upside down. I know you didn’t mean to lose your brother’s things while he was away. You get blamed for so much and I see how you hurt inside.
You aren’t like them. You crave solitude and down time. They spent five weeks in Asia with tons of other kids your age but you weren’t there. You didn’t want to be. I get that. But you wish you wanted to be. I know you wish a lot of things were different. Every day I feel your frustration for thinking you are a social pariah. You aren't. I promise.
Being the outcast is hard. It’s not a role you asked for. It’s hard for me when I see you feeling like a scapegoat. I want to say you are a wonderful person and that you don’t have to be like your siblings to be loved or successful in your life. I think you know this deep down. But you won’t really know it until years from now.
Ride it out. You are my son and I love you just the way you are. Please be you and give yourself a break. The heartache of adolescence will soon pass.
Remember this one thing, though, my son. You may think it appears that everyone has it together. Why not you? My answer is they don’t. What you see on the outside does not reflect turmoil on the inside. And I guarantee they are not going though teenage-hood unscathed by insecurity or social awkwardness. They may be better at hiding it than you are. But it’s just as real for them.
You feel perceived injustices deeply. You are learning to accept responsibility for choices you make. I am proud of you for that. Many adults still can’t do this.
You, my son, are a gift and I am so grateful to be your mom. You are teaching me much about myself; I am learning how to be a better person because of you. I mess up, but I’ll keep trying. This parenthood thing is hard, you know? But we are in it together, and I’m here for you.
You will be okay. Trust me. I see the future of the world in your eyes and it’s beautiful. I want you to be able to see it too.
(Dedicated to my son who is having a hard time with his siblings returning from a five- week romp across southeast Asia.)
Illustration © Johanna Westerman 2012
That was beautiful.
"You are important and appreciated. " If everyone could remember and know that I think our world would be a much softer place. :)
Thank you, @jrcornel. I was feeling sad this morning about how tough the weekend went, so I opened up Word and began to type. This came out. I'm sure it would really embarrass him that I put it on here, but I didn't reveal any names.
I think that is when the rawest emotions come out, when they are fresh like that, and they often make for the deepest writings.
It made me reflect on how tough I am on my stepson and how I probably need to be a lot more uplifting and encouraging towards him instead of always getting on his case... thank you for that :)
My husband is my son's step father. It's a common thing I think. Parenting has challenged me in more ways than I possibly imagined. And step parenting - maybe we should share some stories!
That would be a great posting topic.
Ha! We should! Boy do I have some stories.... sheesh! :)
How old is your son? Mine's 10...
16 - three 16 year olds and one 14 year old
This is awesome. I have a daughter, the mother and I aren't together anymore. We both have other children and sometimes I think my daughter feels like she isn't as important as her siblings, or we don't love her as much. I'm going to read this to her because this describes everything I feel and sometimes can't put into words. Thank you @fairytalelife !!!!
Thank you, @jeremyfromwi - that is a compliment I treasure. Now to put into practice what I have written. ;)
I couldn't have put this any better. I think this is something that we need to remind each and every one of our kids.
My daughter constantly worries about school, friends, acceptance, what others think, what tomorrow will bring, & change as a whole. When it comes down to her being her and expressing who she is we absolutely embrace, encourage, & cherish it, as we should for any child.
I agree with you completely, @stoner19. Sometimes easier said than done, though
My brother was hit by a car when we were kids. All the attention he recieved made me jealous! I never quite understood why I wasn't given as much support. As an adult, it's obvious my parents did the right thing for the entire family but it was hard on a kid!
Bless him, He has a loving strong mother who will be at his side every step of the way
Thanks, @karenb54. I try but often I fall short.
Not at all hun, I know what it is like my 1st child has a few problems so when my 2nd cane along she didn't get the attention she deserved, you could see the pain on her face but now she is older she understands more as well your son as he grows
Thanks for that
don't forget to read this to him! :)
He is getting his own special copy, @thebluepanda
Please adopt me lol
My wife and I really like your writing. She showed my your posts and now @miacats and myself are both hooked. keep up the good work.
Thanks, @milestone, to you and @miacats. I will look you two up.
I love your illustrations, but this one hit the spot. Thank you for sharing.
Coming from a fellow parent it is good to see the depths of love another parent has for their child. This is the light at the end of the parenting tunnel.
Thank you so much, @rubenalexander, for your kind words.
You made me cry
Another touching and uplifting story from you. Thank you and keep em coming.
Thanks, @rea! I'll try
When I heard about STEEMIT and his unique content for the first time, i imagined such creativity, as @fairytalelife do. Thank for your amazing works.
Bless you, @seva. Thank you for reading. That makes me so happy
You are such a good writer, great work.
Thank you, @halo :)
Your very welcome, upvoted and followed
:)
Beautiful thoughts. As a mother of 4 who are very close even now that they are in their 40s and 50s-I feel it's so important for every child to feel special in his parents eyes which is the core of his self esteem. Others opinions of him are secondary.
How right you are, @team101. You know what challenge it is! Thank you.
Thank you, looking forward in reading more!
love this @fairytalelife!
This is beautiful. My husband is the forgotten child in his family, and I will be sharing this with him!
love the honesty and authenticity of your post @fairytalelife.
Keep it up, and look forward to reading more from you.
saludos
Beautiful <3
The love of mother could not be question, truly its remarkable.
The Outsider might seem small but it is always Outsiders who really change the world. :)
This is such a beautiful letter to your son. Maybe you can one day give it to him. I relate a lot to wanting alone/down-time and being envious of the out-going personalities of others. You are clearly a wonderful mom. :')
(Also love the illustration, going to check out her art)
WOW. Just... WOW. This resonated with me on so many levels - from my own personal experiences and with my children. How eloquently expressed. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all speak the words "I see you" more often...and be believed?
I'm cry with your lines, I'm not a teenager, but I'm pass from something and your words help me from bad things hapen in my mind, with your words make me a litle beter... realy Realy Thanks for you to writing and steemit to provide your article to read.
Lovely. I have a 13 year old who feels the same way and at times it is super frustrating to know her. But I can see the light in her eyes and I know she is strong enough to pull through.
A very potent and thoughtful piece @fairytalelife. With your support I'm sure things will get better for him. Will he have a chance to read this?
I am in love with your posts and I would LOOOVE if you joined our #steemitwriteoff . Check out the details at https://steemit.com/steemitwriteoff/@truthmomma/steemit-write-off-1-theme-announcement-or-aug-18-22 . Winners take all Steem Dollars earned as well as money from donations!