I agree. my eldest daughter has a best friend who's back living in TX again, and unfortunately, her mother is a "banner" and I don't mean a little bit, I mean a LOT! She caught her daughter having (what she felt was) a "sexy" conversation with a boy- and took away every device she had, banned her from the internet completely.... and that was over 10 months ago! She's only just this past christmas allowed my daughter to talk to her daughter for an hour on skype once a week!!! And I know from Quinlin talking to me about it, that her friend is going through a really hellish time, trying to get use to being back in the US after living abroad for 10 years, and has been seriously depressed and even having suicidal tendencies.... I'm honestly terrified for her!!! I've offered to have her come stay with us this summer for a few months, but I highly doubt her mom will let her. :>(
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Yes, the ramifications of our actions as parents can be pretty scary and unknown so I’m always trying to trust my daughters’ instincts and be led by their internal wisdom. I’ve got more chance of getting it right and getting their cooperation if I do so.
There’ll be times they will make bad decisions I’m guessing, but I’ll not be standing there going “See! What did I tell you?” in a triumphant & perhaps frantic recinforcement of my own freedom from responsibility in the matter. I’ll be no better off being ‘in the clear’ that way as I’ll still have to watch them suffer the consequences of their mistakes and I’m in a better position to help if I’m not crowing in an angry voice “SEE!”