I think Philip Larkin put it rather eloquently:
'They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.'
My parents told us at an early age that we were 'accidents' warning us not to expect anything from them and to learn quick smart to stand on our own two feet.
This is so sad! I'm a grandmother now, and although our lives (mine, my son's, his girlfriend's, their baby) are far from perfect, we experience a lot of joy and good times. Granted, there are lots of fuck ups, but that's the nature of being human! No child should be labelled an 'accident' ... that is just so wrong. Here you are, contributing on an international community platform .... Philip Larkin was a cynical soul I think, and although I sometimes think it's better to remain single and child free, life puts people in your path who change your outlook along the way. Be open to receive!
Indeed, very well put. Each time I read this, it strikes me anew... :/
I hate the idea of accident, I mean even if it happened like that, well, it's your fucking fault as the parent, isn't it? So what business do you have telling a child that... A lot of screwed-up people who can't take responsability for themselves, it seems.