I don't always make the "right" choices as a parent, many times I am not even sure if there is a flawless solution.
This is not a skill that you can perfect. We all experience similar situations differently. I would love to pretend I am always on the same page as my kids, but sometimes it seems we are in different libraries, on different continents. With four kids, I still haven't experienced every situation that could be thrown at me. Many situations, I hope I never do have to face. My kids are all healthy, no one has broken any bones yet, and they are all enjoyable humans (most days). However, children still put us in impossible predicaments sometimes. All we can do is try to be good examples, show them that actions do have consequences...love them, and move on.
We are all works in progress. What works for one child may not work for another. All of my kids have different personalities, and I have to cater my mothering to work well with what they need from me. This is not to say that I "cater" to my children, but it is important that as their mother I take notice when they require something or more of something from me. I am not a perfect parent, and I have never tried to be (that sounds exhausting). Some days I spend too much time wrapped up in my phone, I don't always drop what I am doing and pay enough attention to what they want to show me, I yell or nag too much on occasion, and I've been known to completely lose my shit every once in awhile. At the end of every day, and at the conclusion of every situation, my kids are still my every stuff, and I remind them of that. They will always have my love.
Being a parent is hard work
One more time for the people in the back, being a parent is hard work. Also, it is work, just like any sort of relationship. My family is a full time job. Too many people put so much energy into shaming other parents, when they should be worrying about them and theirs, not me and mine or you and yours. It is super important to be able to discuss parenting fails right along side with the parenting wins....without being attacked.
There are chips all over my living room floor right now, and despite there being a trashcan right next to it, I just picked a juice box up off the floor. Also I walked into the twins room earlier to see a fort they built (which is epic by the way) and it smells like a locker room, and there are toys everywhere. This doesn't make me an inadequate mother, it simply means kids live here. My oldest son decided a couple weeks ago to make a bad choice, which has him super grounded now. It is not my story to tell so I won't tell it here, but he will be helping with yard work and housework for the remainder of the summer. After a ton of back and forth, Dustin and I still sent him to Boy Scout camp last week. It wasn't a decision that was easy to make, and not everyone who was privy to the situation ended up agreeing with it.
Some days I pat myself on the back, and some days I trip over my feet. I try not to judge, because I am a bit fucked up myself, if you are all being honest, you are as well. Every family has issues, in a world that is sometimes scary and often ugly.... give support, advice and love when indicated. be a safe place...people need that.
All the love,
@krazykrista
If you have skills you are not utilizing, come seek me out on Discord!
I might be able to put you to work, either way I would love to meet you!
I can be found in
Whaleshares: https://discord.gg/YrPPVY
Vaerity: https://discord.gg/HMWHu5
Heard and Agreed! I've got two myself ages 3 and 6 soon to be 4 and 7. I don't really ever worry bout' what other parents or people for that matter think of me and mine. Couldn't care less. I tend not to associate with people like that as well. This was a great post by the way as I can totally relate. It's nice to know I'm not the only Circus out there!
Having 4 of those rascals is a challenge already...
and even if they break something, it is also part of growing up right...just make sure they end up as decent humans and then your did an outstanding job!
There really is no manual for raising kids and definitely what works for one person may not work for you.
All you can do is make the best decisions possible for you and your family at that time. You will learn and grow from each of those decisions good or bad.
It's okay that you don't pick up those chips on the floor right away, or that there are toys everywhere right now. When things calm down you can deal with those things, or try and make it a game for your kids to help you clean up.
my advice friend is that you think very well every decision that you are going to take. And that you evaluate very well what is best for you and your family
Parenting is hard! Hang in there! ((hugs))