Great post my man!
MEANING allows you to go through life whether or not it is happy.
This is spot on. I see so many (including myself at times) getting lost in this pursuit of happiness. Happiness is great. But it cannot be the necessary driving force.
One thing that is interesting about this question to me is to step back one level and ask "what makes a good parent?" or even "what makes a good mother?" Do we notice any thing shift inside of us when we change the question? If so, what and why?
Obviously you're going to be a father, not a mother, so it is perfectly appropriate to ask the question like you did. But looking at it from another perspective can help reveal to us if we have adopted these ideas of gender roles in raising kids. And if we have, are we okay with that? So often moms takes on the nurturing role, while dads are there to bring order and adventure. While it is fine and probably inevitable for two parents to have different strengths, I personally am not comfortable with the wholesale abandonment of certain parental traits that mainstream fatherhood has adopted.
And I think it is pretty clear that you are intentionally seeking to live out something that is not often seen in the mainstream. So cheers to you!
I would also add emotional and comfortable with grey. I don't mean emotionally unstable, I mean in tune with and openly expressing the full range of emotions that humans feel. And being comfortable with grey is coming to a place where we are able to have our beliefs and ideas, but also hold them in a way that allows us to still here alternative perspectives. One of the reasons I think growing up is hard is that so many of the things that we held tightly as kids start to get challenged by what we experience as teens and young adults. I realize that being open to change does open us up to discarding ideas and beliefs that we should have held onto, but it also means we can easily go back to those.
I've really enjoyed your posts about becoming a father. Keep up the good work!