Love the debate actually, I don't care to take as much time as would be required right now to discuss each of your points but would love to debate this in some other venue at a later time. Just too much typing. It's like trying to debate using text message but not quite as bad :)
But yes I believe that a person who lives in the society and enjoys the benefits of that society are just as culpable for the actions of their country as the soldier. You support the system you live in whether voluntarily or involuntarily. And in the USA no one is forced to stay in that system so it is voluntary.
And yes, without a military you could have people take over your house by force. And depending on your bank account you could defend it depending on how large a force is trying to take it. I doubt everyone in Crimea wanted to be annexed. But the group with the strongest military didn't let everyone pick.
And I believe the technology infrastructure around the world is pretty fragile actually. If one strong country decided to take out large swaths territory against a weak nation or area then it would not be hard to strip the technology away. Hell just taking out the electric power grids would do most of it. Hard to use a blockchain without electricity. And without an allied army to disrupt that takeover nothing would stop it from occurring.
And if you think a society backed government and an army to back the government didn't allow for the technology advance due to the security it offered then we will have to just disagree. An economy which supported all these inventions and technological leaps were only possible because of the security the country provided to the businesses and the citizens.
I just don't have enough faith in humanity to play nice with each other so until then I'll choose to have an army and blame everyone in that society if it does not act right (including myself). Or at least use my vote to try and change it. And if I still can't accept the results then I would have to move. But I sure wouldn't hold the "military personnel" any more responsible than I would the citizens.
And you do elect your representatives democratically. Yes we are a democratic republic, but you do have a voice and a vote.