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RE: For The Women That Don't Want Kids

in #people7 years ago (edited)

@sarahtops9000, I can appreciate @miranda.odell advice about being able to support yourself and a future child. I want to add a little bit of a different perspective as well.

As a father and a husband, I strongly feel the need to provide, but my ability to be a husband and a father is not solely dependent on my ability to provide. A major life change has taken place in my family. I am still looking for a job, but I am still a husband and a dad.

If you wait until you are ""fully prepared" to step into something new, you will rarely take the step. Because honestly, most of us never feel like we are fully prepared.

Plan well and then take action! And this advice is not just about being a mom.

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I understand that as well. I don't ever think I'll be "fully prepared" and it's more of a mental thing than a providing thing. Also "providing" doesn't necessarily mean necessities or possessions. To me it means showing up and being there when it counts. For six years I said when we bought a house we'd talk about it and now that's happened and I have nothing else to fall back on other than being honest at this point and saying I'm not ready. It's about more than cut and dry issues, it has a lot to do with me and my parents, my fears, and the expectations I have of myself in my own mind.

Those deeper issues that you mentioned are very important. If those issues have not "been addressed" (whatever that means) then it is hard to move forward. Keep pressing on! Keep showing up!