Have you ever noticed that most of the personal development gurus are already rich people who got bored with their lives and got into the personal development business to ease their inner conflicts, their existential angst (not yours!) like a spoiled child? Look at the World… As of now, the personel development industry is worth $10 billion. But do you really see any improvement in the World, “in the Human Condition”? The answer is a big “No!” Democracy is falling apart from Turkey to United States, everything is getting worse everywhere, at the moment. So it’s clear something is wrong here, something fishy going on…
I have good news and bad news for you. Unfortunately, you’ll never be a CEO by reading the book “5 Steps to Becoming a CEO” (which probably was written by the son of the biggest shareholder of X Corp., who had never “become” a CEO, but had been born into it). But the good news is, there is “a way” to stop your pathetic rat race and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
The natural question is “How?” The answer is: You need to meet a real hero, a real survivor who started from the ground zero, went through all the hellish corners of life and also is willing to share his/her experiences with you.
He/she is not Warren Buffett, Elon Musk or Steve Jobs. As you may have already noticed, the profit-driven gurus didn’t save the World; on the contrary, we’re on the brink of self-destruction (the climate change!). So, what type of people must you encounter? The answer is simple: People like me… Purpose-driven, idealistic… Here I am :)...
Ok, let’s begin! You are disappointed with your life and you realize “50 Shits of Happiness” doesn’t help. So where to start? Let me tell you a story: I was born in Turkey. A developing country, which means, everything always has been in chaos and always will be. When I was 4 years old, my parents got divorced and I was brought up by my stepmother until the age of nine. In that period, I used to be beaten almost every day, in fact tortured, physically and psychologically… Just like in the movies… Blood, burns and bruises… Like hell… Also insults, yelling and etc. When I was nine years old, my real mother managed to get me back so I escaped from the Black Hole.
But think about it... I had been tortured for more than 5 years and now I was a shipwreck. The most precious part of the life of a child, which is the period from the age of 4 to the age of 9, was lost. Self-confidence, self-love and the affection for others never formed.
Given that I’m now a healthy adult living a normal, successful life, there should be a lesson here :). What is it?
Have you ever watched the movie “Wanted” or read the book titled “Man’s Search for Meaning” (Viktor Frankl)? If not, I advise you to do so. Here, torture, beating or insults do represent something: That is “Resetting.” Mentally (not necessarily physically), you have to hit bottom, question everything you know and create a new self for you. There is no other way to get rid of that “feeling.” Strip down your existence to its bare essentials and see the absurdity of your life. You’re nothing else but a pile of molecules.
Now the magic point! Now you’re free, on your own and ready to build something meaningful.
-VÇVÇ
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Dear native speakers and advanced learners of English: Your feedbacks would be appreciated.
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Hey man, great job here. Your English is really good! Better than many "native speakers" :) . I have read Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. I mean... if someone could survive the Holocaust... then what the HELL do I have to bitch about, you know?? Everything in life is a "bonus." Why? Because, as I think you sort of allude to: I can always "choose differently--" in other words: I am the one and only who ultimately decides my fate. I am totally free. But with that, I am also totally responsible :)
This reminds me also of Albert Camus' Myth of Sisyphus, where he rolls the ball all the way up to the crest of the hill--only for it to fall and roll all the way back down again. Repeat ad infinitum... And why not? Even that can be "enjoyable" :)
Thank you :)...