Today we will be reviewing Orca. This is one of many dogs, but a dog none the less. So far, I think he is not as critically acclaimed as he should be and so I would like to help him get at least a 90 on Metacritic, but I'm going to keep an open and honest review with as little bias as possible. So, let's do this.
Backstory: Orca was born on a large piece of land to a sire named Quinn, and a bitch named Spirit. Quinn was a border-collieXBlue Heeler cross, and Spirit was a pitbullXSharpe. He roamed the land like a free spirit, all too often a little too free. During his youth, he learned that he could silently walk off for no apparent reason and disappear for days at a time. He found great joy in this, and didn't seem to notice the turmoil that action put his humans through. Nevertheless, he was loved when he got back and so he kept on coming back. Orca had lots of animals to play with through puppyhood, including ferrets, sugar gliders, lizards and goats. For some reason, Orca's testicles never descended, and he was always very shy and dramatic, so people generally thought Orca was a girl. Orca had lived outdoors in a farm based environment for most of his life. He was always very friendly and submissive to other animals, even if they were the size of his paw.
Moving: Orca had always gotten along with the animals on the property, but eventually the entire clan moved to a new place where a fence was built that housed Orca with other dogs including his mamma and another female dog. He is a bit of a gentleman roman tic, and became protective of the females. Well, when it came time for mating season, Orca was unable to produce puppies and made him perfect to hang out with the girls who were still intact. One fateful night, his dad and him got into a bout, very likely over the female dogs. This just couldn't happen again, and it was stressful on Orca's human to constantly keep them separated. This is where I had the opportunity to be blessed with the responsibility of Orca the dog.
At home: Orca made himself very comfortable immediately. He was polite for the most part, except he decided to immediately poop in the basement upon entering. So lesson 1:frequent outdoor time is a must! Other than that, he is easy to feed. The first food I bought for him ran me a whopping $100! Realizing later this was out of my price range I had to sacrifice the luxury for less extravagant food but his bowls and taste buds were more than happy to accommodate.
Being a dog, you would assume Orca plays fetch. So, I grabbed a stick and threw it and OFF HE WENT! Then back again... without the stick. He came back and stared at me, so I went and got the stick to throw it again, only for him to run toward the stick then again back to me. Okay.. maybe fetch isn't his game. How else can I get this dog some exercise without having to run 100 miles a day? Well it just so happens that Orca loves running more than Usain Bolt on a case of red bull, and all I had to do to prompt his spastic circling of the property was pretend to chase him every now and then. He's happy, and I'm happy watching him. Seeing the pure joy in his face after his runs fill me with happiness, and I sometimes even join him!
As far as sleeping goes, Orca is very low maintenance. Often when I head to bed, he's exactly where I planned on laying down, looking at me with a wagging tail and anticipation for pets. It's hard to say no to that face and so I try to force my way into that spot, where he awkwardly doesn't get the message and just sort of lays there underneath me till I have to tell him to move. He will then place himself on the floor at the foot of the bed. I've made many different dog beds for him but he seems pretty comfortable just on the floor.
His coat is one of his most attractive features. The combination of Heeler, Sharpe and Pitbull gives him an absolutely gorgeous give it a nice blueish white tinge, with loose skin in his neck and face. Very pinch-able cheeks. I have a hard time not being melted by his cuteness when he decides to lay on his back on put his curled paws in front of his face.
He doesn't eat garbage, but if I leave anything meaty on the floor I can bet my loonie it's gone before I turn around. He's great with cats and dogs and everything else, though a little timid from his altercation with his dad still. He has some trust issues. If I'm walking past the door and I accidentally bump into him, he will yelp as if he's just been shot. It's quite frightening.
Orca is hyper submissive. It's almost too submissive, but not to a point where it is problematic, and as he and I grow together he is becoming more confident in his dog abilities, and understanding of his position in this world. I have happy to know that after these siz months we've had together, I now know I have a partner in crime, and he is safe in a happy and loved home for the rest of his life.
So I give him a 10/10, bringing his overall Metacritic rating to 100! Democracy!
Haha this is pretty great. I didn't know that a dog review could be so good or so detailed, though I guess I have never read a dog review before. I am glad orca has a nice home and you guys are friends :P
Dog reviews are the new meta. You gotta get into it!
Lol this is awesome and very cute. He didn't just wander off for days in a row though, hours yes but only that last time with mom was it days. They get lost really easily up here for some reason. o.O