I was reading through comments on my post about compassion vs pity yesterday and @jinmi17 mentioned that they had posed this question a few days ago. I think it's a very good question and I encourage you to check it out HERE. Today I'll discuss my perspective on this topic and why I think kindness can be both selfish and unselfish depending on other circumstances. I hope everyone will check out @jinmi17's post and show some love too!
I feel that there is what I consider true kindness and conditional kindness. I view conditional kindness much in the way that I do with conditional love in that it really isn't a complete manifestation. This particular manifestation is usually rampant with entitlement and feeling that we are somehow owed something from others or the universe for our actions. I can't say that I've never taken this approach, but what I've found is that when our intentions get brought into question then everything we've done seems to fall apart. It's one of the reasons why I try to only do things that I generally enjoy doing and help those I meet along the way because I want to do so. I feel that if we go around just looking for problems we are inherently judging others excessively and it's a good way to learn exactly why entitlement and expectations can grow toxic.
True kindness, from my perspective, comes from a place of unconditional love. If we give our kindness freely without expectations, then we never develop that sense of entitlement. We don't feel that others owe us anything and the entire process of attachment is much more healthy. People can come and go in our lives and we don't feel any need to treat them differently or selfishly cling to them or try to change them. There is no anger at them or the universe for not bending to our will. From my perspective, the only way to truly be kind to others is to love them unconditionally and without expectations. Sometimes that doesn't feel like a good thing when things don't go the way we hoped they would, but as long as we don't form our attachments with unrealistic expectations or selfish intentions, I feel like it's much easier to still love others even if we go our separate ways. Namaste.
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Compassion, humanity and simple kindness in our time become by some miracle or luck. I often see on social networks that the history and stories about the good deeds are gaining popularity and many "like". I think that need to help from the heart, not for any benefit. Just do it because you can. We are all too busy in our daily lives. But , it is not difficult to provide help if someone needs. In our mind should be the idea that to help people is a normal topic. It will be a good habit. One person can't change society for the better. But society is all of us. And all together we will be able very much. And I want to say about kindness, that if we expect gratitude for our good deeds, it means that we do not give people good, we just kindness sell. Thanks for Your post. Very sorry that I have not seen it before. I just wanted to share my thoughts. Thank you, @clayboyn
action #kindness from @madlenfox
Pleasure meeting you, I like your outlook and agree the it takes working together to be the change. Following you now and I look forward to seeing your posts! Thanks!
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STOPThanks for the shoutout @clayboyn! I appreciate it.
Well said. Expecting something from another is a pitfall IMO. Even if the situation is beneficial, if it's not to expectations, it could turn toxic. Being able to erase that expectation, being that the intentions are altruistic, is key IMO.
When that post was written, I was trying to rationalize charity organizations and the donors to them. The organization profits and grows (self interests) and also uses funds and manpower to aid those in need. What if the organization fell?
Also, the donors. Call/write/email and wire some money. All in a good day and maybe a nice sticker to show for it.
You brought it to a human perspective, which I wasn't considering, but is very valid. To this I do agree. The entitlements some folks deem appropriate for a kind action or aid seems prevalent. I think it's tied to the ego and the false societies that help shape them.
I've had my fair share of falling outs with charitable organizations over things. I wont assume I'm right, but I know it felt right walking away from them if I didn't feel they lived up to their own missions. Society as a whole needs new examples to change and it's up to everyone to be that change. Thanks for the awesome topic and I wish you much success on steemit.
Hands in and hands on! People to people and being that change is ideal.
Again, thanks for the well wishes and take conversation.
If you're going around helping and doing things for others expecting favors in return, you'll become an upset person pretty quickly. After reading what you and @jinmi17's perspectives were on the matter, I can say that I lean further to where you're coming from.
I find that when I do things that help someone else and genuinely mean it, most times, I completely forget that I didn't even did the thing! There's no reason to keep track, no ulterior motive that I'm trying to fulfill, and I feel lighter because of it. The best part about this, is that when someone does help me back, I'm completely surprised.
Now this may sound like whimsical garbage to you, but a selfless love is something that is learned. People may ask why a person would help someone for no reason because they can't see your values, and how helping someone else is the reward. Everything else is literally a bonus.
I agree, there's no need to keep score and life stops feeling like a competition as well.
Toxicity is a subtle thief I say. It's when we come up with excuses for our friends when they're just toxic as hell.
Kindness too, is subtle. It's a sneaky bitch.
Some people aren't truly kind. You can tell. Only the ones who dish out the unconditional love know what it is to be kind.
Thanks @clayboyn
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I was just thinking about this a few hours ago before I saw your post.
Psychic connection
Aliens
tries to give clay unconditional love. fumbles, flails around, and delivers a half mad poem, an apology, a pretty rock, wet n muddy pant cuffs and leftover slightly stale pizza
WTF I love it lmao
My favorites! :)
Nice.
I couldn't agree more, there is absolutely a clear difference between conditional kindness and actual authentic kindness, even if both might trigger the same physical/chemical endorphin release in your brain. Well said good sir!
True Kindness Needs not a perspective , as it Would Be True and truth is not a Perspective Indeed.
Beautiful however and Very Thoughtful Post
Thank you Kindly
I actually agree entirely with what you said there, I just feel like putting these concepts into words automatically laces them with perspective. I try to always keep my perspective open and I reassess whenever I feel it's challenged. Thanks for checking it out :)
Have you ever been in a room full of kindness, aka good karma?
Everyone was vibing with each other in positivity, in peace.
And, just like that, a person walks in, and the energy of lightness becomes weighted. The unkind negativity can be spoken or unspoken.
Yes, as Mark Twain said, kindness is an experience that all can feel, hear, and see…
Thanks for sharing!
Peace.
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nice post.weldone@clayboyn
Something very wonderful done well
You're a wise sage, @clayboyn, wise indeed!
I dunno about all that, we're all always changing and growing, but thanks for the kindness @tamaralovelace. :)
Sometimes I'm somewhat "guilty" of kindness that asks for something in return, like I try to be kind because I know God will reward me or good karma will boomerang it back to me. But I like showing kindness, either unconditional or conditional, what matters to me most is how it affects the other person, if I made his/her day or uplifted him in a way then it serves its purpose.
I think we all do it on occasion and being conscious of it allows us to correct the behavior. Thanks for the great the comment!
Beautiful concept. Kindness for the sake of kindness!
There's a quote by the Prophet of Islam which translates "Verily actions are only dependent on intentions, and everyone will get what he intended."
I will admit; I love doing kind things for the people I care about because it makes me feel happy as well.
That's the reward for sharing kindness with others :)