One area that I've felt like I struggled for most of my life was being patient. I know there are many ways that these things are explained and treated medically as impulse control issues, but I've spent enough of my life medicated to know that it never did anything to really fix this perceived problem for me. I've written fairly extensively at this point about my issues with control and addictive behaviors that I've managed to work through, but it still strikes me as somewhat hilarious when people call me patient.
Today I was reflecting a bit on why that is and what has changed over the last year and a half. Over time, I've become aware that in this 'surrendered state' in which I no longer feel the need to control things that I no longer have that overwhelming urge to 'make things happen.' I suppose on some level I figured that it was related to letting go of expectations and assumptions, because in general I'm just more content with how things turn out and I'm less attached to any idea of how I think things need to be. It still leaves me with the question of why or how that makes me patient.
Perhaps my perspective on patience is just wrong or different than others. Growing up I was basically taught that patience is being able to wait for things I want and that if I couldn't wait I wouldn't get them. I suppose this was my parents trying to enforce some version of impulse control on a nervous and overactive child, but if anything it just taught to me to be manipulative and insincere. Over the last year and a half of writing and working through my personal issues here on steemit, I've learned to embrace authenticity, so clearly my old perspective of being patient no longer works.
Continuing my dive for this answer, I consider the fact that I feel I have pretty well defined personal boundaries at this point. When I'm not developing expectations and assumptions of others and I'm mindful of my own boundaries, it's very easy to be patient with others that aren't trying to be overtly violent or manipulative. In situations where I feel that people are being threatening or abusive, it's very easy to remove myself from the situation as I don't expect that others will change or assume that they need to change. After all, it's just my perspective that the things they are doing are wrong after all.
So at this point, it's becoming more clear to me why some others may perceive me as patient, but why do I not think of myself as patient? Perhaps the problem is that learned belief from my childhood that patience is the act of waiting for things to happen. I can say in all honesty that at this point in my life waiting for anyone to change or circumstances to change themselves no longer really works for me. If I want to do something I do it and if I want to change something I change it. It's clear that the concept of waiting is lost on me at this point because I believe that we only exist in the present moment.
I don't say this as if I don't have desires or hope for a better future. If anything, I'm actively progressing towards those things and whenever they happen is fine with me. If the never happen I suppose that the most reaction that the universe would get out of me at this point is a shrug. It's just curious to me that it still doesn't feel like patience. Perhaps patience is really just about knowing our own priorities and not being overly focused on anyone or anything else, so in turn everything else just kind of becomes irrelevant to some extent. I'm already doing what I want to do and I'm already who I want to be. Namaste.
For a while now I've had the idea of writing a post called "the 7 deadly virtues" and Patience is one of them. It's exactly as you say, we are taught young, that patience is a good thing and that patience brings about what you want... but that's not even logical! when it comes to dealing with people, showing them that you are patient person will only make them take advantage of the fact that you can wait, and they will delay delivering. I say this as someone who has done that on numeral occasions... One's deadly virtue of 'patience, leads me to commit the sin of procrastination.
Of course overly demanding impatient people are also annoying... in my work i find that people that demand things without any flexibility, are also terrible at rewarding your effort to appease them, because to them everyone is 5 minutes late.
But your idea of patience goes a little deeper than that, because you are also ting it with your perception of time, priorities and self reflection on who you are... I agree with others here who said that you seem more 'chill' and nonchalant rather than patient...
This comment is in danger of becoming a post so I'll bail here :))) but not before pointing at how dope the images in this post are. kudos!
That makes sense to me, I definitely resonate on a chill frequency. :)
I repeatedly read your posts @clayboyn! I was trying to digest well your perspective in life. Actually, I am impressed on your coolness. Patience is a virtue, a proverbial verse, which I think I need to improve.
For sure, you are a worry free person. Because, I do believe that what gives stress is on how we react to every incidents or situation or to things. Thanks a lot for sharing this. It made me think of how importance patience is.
Interesting perspective. People say I am patient also, I also don't really see it. I tend to view patience as more an external thing. I have always been able to wait for other people to say what they need to say and am ok generally with people not getting to the point quickly...which is sometimes useful when reading Steemit posts. If you are patient with others sometimes the relationship can be very one sided but usually that patience rubs off and their is a mutual respect and patience there.
Agreed, there's certainly give and take in everything.
It really sounds like you are wrangling with some truths. It’s impressive that you are willing to be so “real” and that you’re willing to describe everything you are processing on your journey. I wish you well!
Thanks! :)
Interesting musings. i think patience is about quelling your ego and being present, without looking for gratification.
Yes, patience is having a long term goal and knowing the universe has your back.
Your conclusion would be the opposite of patience. for example i have recently studied counselling at university and it requires great patience to be fully present with and focused on a client.
Agreed, conscious communication definitely requires being grounded in the present. I think I worded the ending a little weird, but the gist of what I was getting at is that less random stuff seems to ever really bother me (in regards to the everything else becoming kind of irrelevant part).
Sounds like maturity, surrender, acceptance, and self respect, too. I have a real hard time with anxiety, its just how I am wired. But I have been looking back on the last year or so as well, and while I do tend to overthink still, and get myself into stupid overwrought mentalities, I don't have panic attacks any more, and I do feel largely in control of my life. Some things are difficult still, but each day is a new one, and I am always experimenting to find what will make me the happiest. And in that way, I feel like my world is mine... and that I just have to fine tune some of my habitual responses, and I will find the calm I am seeking. This is a cool post because it kind of fascinates me that you can be so chill hahaha. Thanks for sharing the insight.
LOL, I guess I do have chill by the boatload. :D
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