I was recently asked what I thought caused dom/sub sex-fantasies?
I think it is in our DNA. And the popularity of these themes in literature and certainly in pornography prove that.
In all societies we have leaders and followers. It is natural for any small group to look at one person for leadership. This is how humans have survived. If there were no followers and we were all leaders then surely this would result in chaos.
Sometimes there are certain persons who are more dominant than others (we see this is the study of identical twins) and these more dominant types seek our submissive type people to feel balance in their life.
I think as with every aspect of human life, even sexually there are many more people who are more inclined to be submissive than dominant.
Dominant personality types are far more rare than submissive ones. All of us exist on a spectrum from light (Dom) to dark (sub). We all possess some qualities of each.
So just as we have daydreams or fantasies about being kings or queens and ruling over kingdoms or being rich and powerful, so too do we also have sexual fantasies that involve power and control.
Look at your own life. You may have family members or friends who take control of the conversation or expect you to do for then.
And you may also have family and friends where you take the more dominant role. You make decisions on the activities you do together and they often look to you for guidance and support.
I would be very interested to read your thoughts...
I also think there is a gradual spectrum of people from dominant to submissive. Personally I want to be dominant towards men I find less masculine than me and submissive towards those I find more masculine. I think I am slightly more submissive, but I do not have enough experience to be sure.
I think most men look dominant, but that could be because the sex stereotypes forces men to hide their submissive side. If most people are inclined to be submissive that is good, in my opinion have to share the master with other slaves makes the slave experience stronger.
You and I think a lot alike. I also believe that Masters should have multiple slaves and establish a hierachy within that slave population of more and less submissive slaves. Although, all must be done with the one goal to serve the Master.
And I also find in most cultures men are forced into a dominant role both at home and at work. But sometimes these men meet others who are more dominant and they eagerly hand over control when given the opportunity. They often describe it to Me as finding freedom in bondage. It is a concept I have researched extensively.
I, personally am much more dominant in My roles with others both in life and sexually. I very rarely show a submissive side but when I was younger, I was more submissive - especially to older men.
I have been fortunate to have had many years of experience so if you have any questions, feel free to ask eithere here or in private.
Thanks for the response. Currently I do not have any questions, but I am following you to know more about this topic.
I will try to post more regularly.