Great post, you make sense of an untouched matter. Albeit, you might think of getting yourself an amateur / professional translator. Profound topics, cerebral and poetic are more often then not hard to transpose to an unfamiliar language. It might sound good for a technical translation, word for word, and be easy for someone from the same linguistic background as you, but a native reader will have trouble following your logic.
I see you say you're trying to make your English better, so here goes nothing. Remember: a translation should not be only a transcription of facts, but rather a rewriting for a whole other culture to understand. For instance, when you say "looking in the mirror", you'd just be better off using the preposition "into" as it sounds a whole lot more congruent to the sense of self-perception. There are a few expressions that perhaps were too directly translated.
You may also find yourself lost on a maze of "Is", but don't be afraid of them, you may wish to try and write more in the first person rather than to the reader.
English is not a lyric language, it's always hard for someone with a direct Latin background to correctly express ideas without thinking they're sounding redundant. In your own tongue, the wor(l)d is your oyster. If you need any hints just drop a reply, I'm always trying to help.