I spent years of my life worrying over this, telling myself that I had a duty to enlighten people. My husband, he was even more adamant than me, and he didn't just talk about these things, he did everything he could think of to hold back the tide. It got to the point where instead of people looking forward to seeing us- -we were once the life of every party- -they dreaded our appearance. They knew we would make them face things they didn't want to face, think about things they didn't want in their heads. When you mentioned not being able to convince the ones closest to us, that brought back so many memories. So many conversations around dining room tables or campfires. So many wasted words that did nothing but cause bad feelings.
I was the first to stop. Not stop thinking about it or looking into it, but stop trying to tell people, stop trying to make them see. I started thinking that what we were doing wasn't a whole lot different than what adamant Christians do, preaching at people who did not have eyes to see or ears to hear.
The year we spent in the Ozark mountains, away from society for the most part, is one I will always cherish. It was good for us. But it wasn't sustainable. At least not without a community. Maybe if we had a network it would have been different.
I still dream of a place like that. In fact I literally dreamt of a place like that this past winter. I wrote a post about it, and I haven't given up on the possibility. But neither Howie or I offer the red pill to anyone anymore. The only time we talk about it is if someone asks or makes a statement that leads us to think they are of the same mind. I have definitely found more people on steemit with thoughts like this then I have anywhere else. But even here, very few see the likelihood of what I wrote above.
The only way to have real hope is to keep in mind that no matter what, this life is temporary. And maybe one day we'll be in a place where we'll laugh at ourselves for taking it so seriously. Perhaps the secret is to remember not to always take it seriously for that reason.
I know your right dreemit. I just have to learn to keep it from negatively affecting my life and my thoughts. I've been trying to think and feel positive thoughts and feelings but I keep drawing a blank. It feels like acceptance to say I'm not going to talk about it anymore but I have more than just myself to think about and it's not doing me any good so I will have to find a way of letting go of the negativity and finding a positive outlet.
If you can promise me this is so, I'll be happy but there are times when I doubt this as well and wonder if its all just another part of the psychology thats used against us. Who put these thoughts in our heads dreemit? Can we trust ourselves or our thoughts at all? :)
I've had enough....and that might apply to steemit again as well. Don't know what the fuck I'm doing here. If I can't write about the things that I feel are important then why am I here? I wouldn't even have earned any rewards if it wasn't for you and Linda and most of that has been given away to others in my contests yet there are plenty of people who joined after me who have been 'playing the game' and are supposedly more reputable than me now. I'm not a positive guy and I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not or act in a way that isn't me just to make a few dollars or any amount of dollars and I'm not going to put on a smile and play the game pretending everything is wonderful in steemitland but I don't want to be the guy that moans all the time either. :)
Thanks for the advice and for being a good friend Linnet. I appreciate it more than you know.