It happens to all of us. It is also really hard to see when we are the ones it is happening to. I've had some opportunities over the past few years to observe it in action in some family members. That's when I started thinking about how to beat it.
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It is very much a challenge when it is happening to family especially your mate. My husband goes through cycles that can last for days. It feels like saying positive things don't help. He just rejects it. Thankfully for the most part the phases pass.
Yes it doesn't work for everyone. I'm getting gang attacked on another post someone wrote to in response to this one that has a very different tact. I haven't seen the particular tact the person is advocating work that well either.
I do think for the positive wording to work the person that is in the negative spiral needs to realize they are in the spiral and say positive things. Yet even this does not work for everyone.
The longer you are in the spiral the more difficult it seems to be.
In this day and age a lot of people just go to pharmaceuticals and I couldn't tell you anything about that.
Yet if the positive thing is to work it has to be your husband coming up with the positive things and saying them. Other people saying positive things might help with some people too, but it is easier for them to ignore you than it is their own voice.
I hope you and your husband find a solution to that. I am truly sorry to hear about that.