Hello, Hive! Found a way there through Ecency, now I can use as much Hive as I want. Our government really is stupid. But it's a talk for another day. Today, I want to discuss, yes, discuss a topic that's been bothering me since I turned 20. Basically, it's gonna be a lot of misery talking, some crazy points and philosophies you may not agree with. But today I am tired of being right all the time, I'm tired of having everything make sense to me and leading to a horrible conclusions... I have taken the...
...Black pill, yes.
Look, if you don't know this Matrix reference - I don't blame you, I don't know it either, I just know it's a reference. You'll see what it means when you read about what I believe.
So, let's start with a goal of this post. You see, whenever I want to put effort into anything big I have to write a goal so I could know and remind myself why I'm even doing it. And the goal of this post is to find help. And no, please, don't tell me about finding a professional, I'll have a few sweet words to say about them later. I want to search for a good enough reason, for some missing piece of the puzzle, for some kind of proof that I am wrong about what I believe. And if you get a sense I'm pushing my beliefs onto you - I'm not, I might appear that way because I am just this bad at talking, having spent my recent years mostly inside my apartment and mostly alone. Please, don't judge too harshly as I may be vague at some points. It's a common thing when you underexplain something because that thing seems so natural to you, that it's impossible not to understand it. This can and probably will happen here, I'm sorry in advance. And I don't have a goal to offend anyone in any way, if I sound angry or swear too much or anything - it's because of frustration with my life, humanity and nature as a whole, but keep in mind that you can't hate what you don't love. Hatred is a powerful thing, if you don't love something then you just can't care enough about it to hate it...
This world is a beautiful place - said a liar. I believe this existence is hell, it's the survival of the fittest, the abuse itself. And let me tell you why. Look around you, what do you see? Are you using your phone to read this as you're strolling through a park? Are you on your computer at your place? Maybe at work, killing time because you have finished everything you had for today? My point still stands: you are surrounded by either drugs or cruelty. It's a pretty harsh way to start this, but here's how it works.
I don't understand how someone could not believe in the theory of evolution. Just because we don't get to see it within a single generation doesn't mean it doesn't exist; ores and gems form for thousands of years, that doesn't mean ores and gems don't exist or form out of magic. And yet, even back at school we were told how nature really works. And while yes, a militaristic government approved books might not teach me much, but I mean, they could lie about history, would they like about how nature works? Either way, what these books told me made total sense to me. Many animals get born, they're all slightly different, the ones who can't adapt to life die, the ones who can produce more animals and thus the evolution happens. If a creature, let's say, born with too big of a stomach and has to consume more food than its peers, it would be no surprise to see that creature die of hunger, while other animals in similar conditions survive. My point is simple: if you are born defective - you die. You get murdered, starve, have some accident or something like that, and as you might imagine, it's not exactly comfortable and enjoyable to cozily be dying from being eaten alive due to being caught by a predator. However, it's not what is happening to humans: if you are born without the ability to walk during complications you won't die from a bear attack (most likely). Instead, the modern medicine will put you back, give you massages, or insert robotics if needed.
Robotics exist, I think, this may be photoshopped, but I mean... That's too conspiracy for me
Either way, physical injuries are no longer the permanent problem, although not for everyone, sure. Same goes with mental stuff. In my workplace I work with people who don't have documents and survive on the bare minimum, being reduced to having to take trash from bins and bring it home or even eat it (speaking of, you can't even believe what ends up in trash cans, I highly suggest you look inside every time you see one. Never know when you get to find a perfectly working laptop or an iPhone). Which means that even if you failed to finish school, potentially don't know how to read, can't speak, are blind or without fingers, you can still find some kind of work, make some kind of a living and even make kids in the end. This leads to a problem however.
I believe this lack of deaths from such inconveniences has softened people too much. People came up with manners, ethics and some unspoken rules, they seem like they are ashamed of being animals. Think about it, humans tend to cover their genitals with clothes and often feel uncomfortable or shy being naked on public. Some countries even (I've heard of Swiss at least) have forbidden to go out naked. Next, humans seem to eat from clean plates with forks, knives and spoons - something you don't see your pets do everyday. As if they're trying to not resemble animals as much as possible. Things like sex became a taboo - and that's an even weirder topic. I wanna go on a tangent, if you'll excuse me.
I have never understood this obsession of keeping sex as taboo. I mean, what's the point? I live in Russia and Russian government has banned all the big porn sites. I question why. What's the intent here? Do they hope that by banning porn they can... I don't know, keep their children healthier? Or is it a vise versa effect and the government just wants us to believe it's taboo, so that we would seek it more and potentially pay for subscriptions and VPNs with both our data and money, all while the government gets a share from the companies providing these? Or do they believe that by placing the "18+" sign they will eliminate all the children from these platforms? No, seriously, has at least one person on this planet seen a "18+" sign and leave the page because of it? It makes it even more desirable, especially for dumb and easily affected kids! Do the governments not realize that when a child is about 12 they are going to search for porn and fap anyway? Is there "no pedophilia" law designed to make the children watching porn say "ah, all these people are too old for my liking, I guess I'll go exercise and develop mental strength to fight my natural urges then". Well, granted, that was a joke. Point being, when a child turns 12 it turns 18. Well, a budget and dumb version of 18. I'm not implying all kids are dumb, but to the contrary of what Josh Strife Hayes said in one of his videos about working with children and knowing they're not dumb and they can separate quality from crap - I can safely say it wasn't the case for me, nor anyone my age I knew. Still, my question remains - what's the point of hiding this part, not just of the reality, but a part of your own nature itself from you until you're of certain age? I've heard the argument of porn can cause addiction, but sugar can cause addiction too - I even have it! So what, should be place an "18+" sign to all the sugar containing edible products? Gaming can cause addiction, does it mean all video games must be 18+? Some people get addicted to their lifestyles, think of workaholics or people who can't stop hanging out with their best friends. Does it mean that performing an action should be 18+? Should eating be 18+? Ugh, I am getting carried away but I'm having fun here, don't judge. Yes, I did want to be serious, but I can't talk without making these transparent jokes, it's just a part of how I talk. Point being, cruel gory deaths and sex are natural and normal, they shall not be placed behind a paywall that you surpass through paying with your time.
Getting back to the topic, there's always a way to insult people by calling them animals. Think like "They're animals, monsters!". Trying to insult a person by calling them an animal is like trying to insult a car by calling in a vehicle. Animals tend to be associated with something dirty, filthy, uncomfortable. I don't understand it, cats, for example, literally lick their own fur to keep it clean and elephants tend to pour water onto themselves (but that might be due to heat, I'll give it a benefit of the doubt). This almost feels like some
! conspiracy theory ahead !
small group of very powerful people created ethics and made people believe that the way they see correct behaviors is the only way to do correct behaviors. I do understand the general rule of "please don't eat everyone you see, it's kinda unhealthy for the population, please and thank you", but it seems like someone is going far too far with their arbitrary rules. Who told you that having a weird walking style is, well, weird? Why can't humans walk how they like? I mean, what if you got some horrible wound on your thighs and it pains you to even make your legs touch each other? Why force yourself?
And here comes my favorite argument - my entrance to the black pill territory. "If you don't behave similar to the others you won't be able to fit in". It's a great piece, I love how much I hate it. This part promises to get me some misunderstanding, so I should repeat, if you think I sound disrespectful towards you, anyone you know or anything you like - maybe. But I don't have the goal of offending you for the sake of "hehe, trolled a loser! amogus fnaf sus". Maybe I want you to feel a little displeased, maybe I want you to feel some undesirable emotions now, but only because I don't want you to sit there, fully emotionless and not get anything out of what I had to say. I am sorry in advance, again, no goal to offend anyone.
All my life staring from third grade if not sooner I have been saying how I hated humanity. I was not wrong or dishonest when I said I "hated everybody", but then the following always occured: "Do you hate me personally then? What did I do to you?". In other words, they got personal. But the thing is, I never felt like I hated the person standing directly in front of me. They never did anything to me indeed, I have no reason to hate them personally. And that was the case for everyone I talked to. So how come I hate humanity, I hate what humans are doing, but at the same time I don't actually hate, well, everyone. Who was that unseen entity we call "humanity", what is it made of? How come everyone I met was nice, reasonable, logical and overall decent but then we got Americans dumping nuclear waste in the oceans, Australians killing all the wild cats to save a rare type of bird which led to the entire plantlife getting eaten by mice, or Nestle employees brainwashing "uneducated" black African women into thinking their soulless product is healthier than their own breast milk? Who is responsible for all the evils in the world if I, you, and everyone we know are adequate and decent? I learned the answer only several months ago. As it turned out, I didn't hate "the people", I hate stupidity, greed, incompetence and ignorance. Any single human you pick will never have all these traits combined, and that's not even being said correctly: what do I mean by "ignorance" for example? No person is ignorant towards literally everything, right? And that's where it reveals itself: an entity I call the "Biomass", the "Hivemind" (sorry, dear Hivers lol), or you might simply know it as "A crowd". Have you ever read about the crowd effect? I resist it easily, but I'm me, an awoken tortured soul who managed to realize itself in this world. Most people are different. They want to be like others because they want to fit in, because of the societal pressure they can't resist. Because they're weak. And that's the problem: the Biomass will always have "0 skills", "0 passions" and no deep understanding of any single thing. And here's how it works.
Imagine a country where people have the ability to vote directly for a president and the one who got the most voices wins. Now, I know that votes are often kept kind of private, in special tiny boxes where you can't see which people are others voting for...
... but for our example let's say you can. So, do you really expect that the majority, you know, the people whose voices will take the actual effect in the end, is going to know politics on a deep level, understand how business works and how armies are formed, among other things? If yes, then you are ultimately wrong. This is why scientists, doctors, mechanics and so on have their jobs. Because they have knowledge that is hard to get, that not everyone is going to get in their life. If the majority of people were heart surgeons, what even is the point of paying them that much? Or could you gather your friends, ask daddy's credit card and purchase all the materials you need to build a space ship? See, the majority of the people doesn't know all that stuff, but it gets worse: the reason I said that The Biomass has "0 skills and passions" is because of the situations when an actually smart historian/philosopher votes for a president who clearly is the better choice for the country, but since he didn't have that big of an advertisement campaign people don't know his full bio, passions and skills, they are going to actually ignore, or even defend their more stupid choice simply because that's what the rest of the people are doing. In the end the objectively worse decision was made, in hopes that "well, if the majority thinks that, then by doing that we'll satisfy the majority, right?" and we continue to exist in our miserable world where nothing right ever gets done and yet, shaking and crumbling it keeps on walking. By that I mean that despite The Biomass being responsible for the decisions, the countries still exist, the food is being grown, the shelter being built.
And so this is where I stand: I don't hate you as long as you are a smart individual who is capable and is responsible for your own choices, but the moment there are two of you and you're a crowd - yeah, you become the mindless monster that flows between rocks like one of those slime toys. Yes, you do reach the bottom in the end, but you end up taking potentially the least optimal rout and collect all the bumps on the way. And sure, there will be some people saying I'm a nazi and I should go hang out with Hitler in his grave, but despite me liking the idea of a select minority being in power, the question comes to "who is going to select that minority". Obviously the people who have actual passion in politics and who care about their leaders. How do you accurately measure that? Good question! Though I do believe it remains unanswered simply because a different method of letting The Biomass choose has dominated our society all its existence and thus there was no reason to develop that answer.
Right now I am running out of time though. I really wish I could keep it as one big post and get all the answer in a single comment. Unfortunately I have spent literally all my after-work time on writing this and I didn't even manage to make a dinner. So I'll get to that now, even though I'm half an hour past my bed time now. Look, if you want to respond to it, please wait. I haven't gotten to the meat of it yet. I tagged it as a black pill for a reason and it will only get more insane later. I just want to know if I'm stupidly genius or geniusly stupid in the end. I wish I had the time to reread it and check for grammar. I'm so sorry, I promise my English is better than that lol.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I'll continue tomorrow, if I have the time that is...
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