I'm gonna state beforehand that I'm looking forward to reading your reply. Even though I've up voted your overall good message, I'm gonna disagree on some parts. I think that sadness is nothing more than state of mind. If I knew what formed your “pile of crap” I could be more specific. Point is that every time a source threatens your well-being – if it's expected – it can be more or less countered by steps that (easily put) makes u happy. If the source is not expected than it’s much harder to do the counter-steps but they can still be made even though they might not work instantly. Where this all leads is that sadness doesn’t actually biologically help with anything and calling it romantic is just another way how to fight against it. For instance when I write book and I’m supersad it kinda helps. At the same time though when I’m happy (and more on the scale) I’m able to do the same things as when I’m sad (and more). Conclusion is don’t embrace the sadness but fight it with means you know works for you because sadness has a lot of side effects on your surrounding (friends, family etc.). I understand that every person is different and you might perceive it differently than I do:).
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I loved your comment!These are very wise thoughts @fingersik! I must agree with most of it. However, sometimes things work differently in the reality. I mean, I knew what caused my sadness (and I predicted it coming) and I knew what I had to do to get rid of it. However, it still took me a good amount of time to get rid of it. I cannot find an answer why I was still sad if I knew that there were no practical reasons or benefits to feeling that way. That sadness was "not mine" in some strange way. I mean, in general I am a very positive person and being sad is against my nature. On top of that, I knew that there was no reason for that and everything was alright. So I can only come up with one conclusion - we cannot fully control our feelings and they come from outside (I wish I knew where from).
This made me think more deeply about the subject. I understand what you’re trying to say here and I have to agree. Even when you know that it’s coming, it might still struck you hard. And I think I realized why. Any time sadness “appears” you have some kind of expectation (be it a happily spent time with someone or huge bills coming your way). When the positive is not fulfilled, you become sad, because a desired outcome has not occurred. That in my experience can be countered by not dreaming out possible outcomes, but rather taking the actions as they happen as facts – then sadness doesn’t appear. When a negative event is coming your way, it´s completely different story. You just prepare the shields the best you can and hope for the best separation of emotion in the particular regard (the more experience and understanding of oneself, the more overall skill). Happy end is though, that both kinds of sadness disappear in due time. It only depends on the skill of fighting it, or rather knowing the means of how to fight it off. What do you think about that? Im gonna follow you so expect my pedant comments on your next philosophical/psychological topics: D. You can do the same if you enjoyed the discussion. Hope to see you again.
Yeah, having no expectations is the ultimate goal in order to get rid of unnecessary sadness. That said, it is probably impossible not to have any kind of expectations (for example, how could we ever take a death of our relatives for granted? or becoming homeless?), so we just have to try our best. I think I improved during my journey around Central/South America as I understood that every time I tried to picture what the next place would look like, I was wrong.
About fighting the sadness. Well, knowing the fact what I want and need to do (at least I think I know) with my life, helps me a lot to overcome any kind of sadness as long as I follow my path. I guess I would become depressed if I stopped doing what I want to do with my life and started chasing someone else's dreams. You know what I mean? So I guess the best way to fight sadness is just to keep on going and adapting to the situation. The world doesn't care about our dreams and wishes; it only cares about the reality. So we have to adapt our wishes to the reality to avoid getting down.
Oh yes, I followed you as well!
I totally know what you mean and agree with everything you said:) I love the experience of visualizing new places never getting to guess how it will look like! I only travel to tournaments and back so I rarely feel the magical moment you expressed.
Well, things are only romantic as long as you don't get to know them. Of course, that moment is cool, but for a couple of first times. After that, you get used to the luxury of traveling :D