...I have to attack them back hard enough that they will think twice next time.
This is reacting out of a survival mindset. Sounds like you're pretty good at "survival," so you're free to move on to other goals like "understanding" both of yourself and of others. Then you can share this understanding with others. Of course you're already doing this to a significant degree. Seems like you're re-calibrating though.
They might have actually made some real progress if they genuinely were trying to learn and not just be seen as "right".
Maybe I'd make more friends and even help change peoples minds more..
Cause let's face it.. USUALLY when people are fighting and insulting each other, they are much less likely to be receptive to your message.
Exactly! Plus, you're more receptive to learning something new if you're not in "defense mode."
I'm going to challenge myself and make a really good effort to not insult people as much as possible.
It's easy to get offended. But it's also easy not to get offended when attacked, if you let go of pride. Having an accurate understanding of yourself is humility, and it brings wisdom and balance to the ego.
Questioning your beliefs will bring you closer and closer to truth. While you're on this path, there is nothing to be offended about. Everything is a learning experience. Every perspective is valuable. When people have negative opinions of you, it's someone's perspective, and it's information. It doesn't seem as much like an attack.
When people attack, they're likely doing it out of some kind of pain. That's an opportunity for a win-win. Or at least a chance to shine some light on someone's darkness. Light = Love.