I think we have the ability to focus our attention on different sensations inside and outside our mind. That gives us the ability to choose our emotion. If we focus on sad things, we are sad. If we focus on happy things we are happy.
Emotions pretty much define our thoughts. Thoughts are more like falling dominoes. Very repetitive. Rarely original. They can make you feel like you have no free will. But you do. You can meditate, focus on nothing, for hours on end. Stop your thoughts dead on their tracks.
Sure brain may be like star ship enterprise, full of automatic systems we are not aware of. But I refuse to believe that I am not the captain. With ability to focus on different things. Why else would I feel it is a struggle to focus on things that help me instead of things that harm me. We are hardly coasting.
Who is the "you" that is feeling the emotions and choosing these things?
If you're the captain, who are you? At the deepest level? And if you can't prove who you are and how you got here.. How can you say for sure whether you have free will or not?
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
I completely agree with this, and so does Stoicism. Writing a journal is an undoubtedly positive step towards eudaemonia, helping you correct past mistakes in the future. However, by constantly seeking to improve yourself, which seems like a good thing (and I believe it is) aren't you are admitting that, currently, you are not good enough? This I believe could then lead to a lack of confidence in one's own abilities. This contradiction seems unnecessary, considering the Stoic would be considered unwavering and most confident in his/her abilities.
So how does the Stoic strike the balance or, just in general, approach this?