Just recently I realized the act of being lazy and the emotion of fear are very much aligned.
There are times when I have plans and very much want to do something, but I end up thinking about it and not starting what I want to do. What I'm talking about is being a 'DIY'er' a "Do-It-Yourself-er". When I have the funds I like to hire people for jobs that I would do but don't want to put the effort or time into. When I think about it, I do have the time for it I'm just being lazy. Not only lazy though, lazy and afraid. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of responsibility perhaps.
This magazine for gardening products someone showed me sparked a realization of the path I was going down. I was becoming lazy and turning to ways to distract myself from a job by overthinking it and buying excess tools that were useful, but extraneous. Speaking of...
Check this Out: 2 Products for Gardening
Back in my old ways of thinking and purchase habits I probably would have thought about these items as something I could use for the garden. Though my ability to comfortably cop a natural squat would dissuade me from the purchase.
These kind of products are for people too lazy and afraid of getting a little dirt on their clothes and bugs crawling on them. If I'm out gardening in the summer, heck, I wouldn't be out in pants like these 2 women! In addition they're not natural human positions to be in.
There are countless situations where people fail to act because their fear leads them to take the easy way out: Laziness.
When You’re Seeking a New Job
Lazy: You feel overwhelmed by the amount of effort it takes. All the applications to pickup, fill-out, turn int...potential interviews to coordinate, meet and present yourself. It's a lot. Job hunting ain't what it used to be back in the days of apprenticeship.
Afraid: You are worried about dedicating the time and effort to apply for new jobs with the low prospects you’ll find the ideal one. Afraid of being disappointed by not succeeding; and possibly stressing out blaming yourself for. Well, you can't fail if you don't try. That of course would just mean an overall FAIL at even moving toward your goals.
When Asked to Do Something Outside your Comfort Zone
I remember back in grade school I was so nervous of public speaking I would have given half my possessions just to avoid it. If teachers would have given me the option to opt out, and do some kind of work alone I would have taken it 100% of the time to avoid speaking in front of the class or even in front of a group of my friends or peers. This would be to my major disadvantage because it would have been to my great advantage to increase my speaking skills where I was so lacking!
Lazy: I would rather do easy work than man up and develop my character back then.
Afraid: I was so scared of being judged by my classmates; I was already shy and what if I make a mistake, stumble my lines or just stay frozen in fear? Would I be laughed at or made fun of; then or also possibly for the rest of my career over that instant? I did not hate school, I felt a duty to be there and I didn't learn until after high school how much of an "indoctrination camp" it really was. It's there to breed obedient workers who follow the system and appeal to authority at any whim imaginable.
[SIDE NOTE: Heard of the Unschooling movement? - I guess similar to Homeschooling]
Starting a Big Project
I have this unrational fear of not completing something I start. So I delay and delay it; only thinking about the project and justifying it later as my procrastination being part of the "planning phase."
Lazy: So what normally happens in the digital age is we succumb to laziness through entertainment like the vast majority of what the internet provides. Often I have way too many browser tabs open and this hinders me from processing real work. All I need to write a Steemit article is usually the Steemit tab, a word document and perhaps a google search and a few tabs of places I'm researching on the subject.
Afraid: I have a fear of failure. I have this mathematical mind that tries to predict the future and when I'm wrong I can be very scorn and upset with the situation; somewhat like an autistic person but with a much more internalized reaction. This fear and overthinking gets me procrastinating because otherwise I'd have to conquer my fear.
Thankfully this year I've developed more as a person; helping both my mental and spiritual bodies and have started many projects that I wanted to start (some for years and years), like even my steemit brand!
At the Beginning of a Relationship
I think we all know about the 'honeymoon' period of a relationship. This is where everything seems peachy, the partner is wonderful and you get along great. You think you've found "the one" because you are living in the present and can't remember anyone else you've felt this way with, even though you most likely have before (your blinders are on). There are also these two causes of this honeymoon period likely ending in a big crash and revelations about each partner by the other.
Afraid: You are afraid to be your true self. You won't admit your major flaws to her or him, why would you? You're trying to present the best parts of you; the best image and you're having fun doing it! Eventually the secrets (all your flaws and baggage) will have to come out, because, you're not going to continue lying to yourself; you want to make sure they love the real full YOU and not just the best image of you that you're portraying in the very beginning. But for now, you're afraid showing the real you would be too soon and scare them off.
Lazy: It's very easy to enjoy the euphoria of a new relationship and be sucked in to, likely, being the happiest in your life at this moment. Maybe the last time you've been this happy was 5 years ago in a previous honeymoon period of a relationship. You want these feelings so much you play along with subtleties or even give small white lies to maintain your position in this "feel good" stage. Working through past psychological trauma or issues is tough and being lazy keeps us in the reward center of being in passionate new love.
Get Over It and Build Your Character
So next time when you feel like you're in a tough situation, or a fork in the road in life, try to think to yourself: "Am I being lazy or afraid of a certain outcome and thus being prevented from improving myself or my situation?" Perhaps just the realization of your subconscious motivators can get you on a better path forward :)
Words: 1,214
Effort: 70%
Purpose: Character Development & Motivation
This has been Mike Parker and I'm a Steemian!
OMG, that little stool on wheels is actually really cool, lol. My mum has rheumatoid arthritis and it kills her going onto her knees, that would be great for her, she just moved house and I really want to make some raised beds for her.
Interesting post. Have you ever looked into the enneagram personality system? It is awesome. Anyway, there are 9 basic personality types, and each one has a basic fear particular to them. For example I am a type seven so my basic fear is of being deprived and in pain (I always have a well-provisioned house and have a fine-tuned sense of my personal well-being, not that I always act accordingly). Another example, type one: fear of being corrupt/evil, defective. A type two's basic fear is of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved Type three, fear of being worthless. Type four, fear that they have no identity or personal significance. Type five fear being useless, helpless, or incapable. Type 6 :fear of being without support and guidance. Type 8: fear of being harmed or controlled by others. Type 9 : fear of loss and separation. If you apply that as an extra layer of analysis to your thinking I think it is perhaps quite interesting.
now that sounds like someone who actually needs it. It's like those commercials for drugs; the people (actors) depicted to supposedly have an illness are incredibly happy and healthy in real life. Very fit people; way more fit than average. It's just the beauty sells...
I've only looked at the MBTI which is 16
I will definitely look that up now; sounds fascinating thanks
I'd take to guess my fear may be to be worthless
Defo do it - you'll be hooked. There's a good online test here:
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php
And the eneagram institute (https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/) has some alright introductory material. Although can thoroughly recommend to read "Wisdom of the eneagram" by Riso Hudson and to also have as reference "the eneagram in love and work" by Helen Palmer.
Don't worry@mikeparker - you're not worthless!!
Another high quality, thought provoking post!
thanks sean; glad you're on here
Did you see my mention of you here?
https://steemit.com/steemit/@mikeparker/building-the-steemit-team-marketing
Never directly thought how these correlated. True, something to consider when faced with certain obstacles.
Funny how spontaneous thoughts can be revelations :)
good article. I can relate.
yay