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Hi @Novacain Thanks For Joining The Conversation

How does talking about looking out for all of existence sound.......

like someone who has not experienced a love of their child
?

I think maybe you just didn't make it past the things that were negative in appearance. Perhaps that is my fault in presentation.

It isn't that people can't and shouldn't make sacrifices or care for others. I'm saying that the desire to do these things comes form your feelings, to resolve tension, to quench some thirst within yourself.
It isn't that selfishness is a bad thing. It isn't that we are bad people.

We can do things that put us at great disadvantage for the benefit of another person but you are doing so for the way that you feel.

What I suggest toward the middle to end is that when we do something that is considered selfless that it is actually just an expansion of your sense of self.

You're correct. I do not have any children, but I have loved deeply before. I'm just saying that, in a way, your love for your child is an extension of your sense of self. I imagine motherhood is possibly the best example of what I'm talking about.

We move from ourselves to include those closest to us, and then keep expanding until our realm of care includes all things. I'm basically saying that selfishness is a "program" that is being misused ............. well anyway I hope you will give the post a second chance and read it to the end at another time. Thanks for stopping by.

Eric Fromm in The Art of Loving lays out the stages toward selllessness in ones life if they follow the natural order of relationships. Allow me to suggest it may be required reading in your case.

. I do not have any children, but I have loved deeply before

There is nothing comparable to the bond of child and parent.

Sorry for the delayed response @novacadian.

I'm not sure what you are trying to suggest about me that The Art of Loving should be a required reading.. lol ;)

There is nothing comparable to the bond of child and parent.

I wasn't trying to compare anything to the bond of parent and child. I was just making the statement that while I haven't experienced that I am not lacking in love. Just dropping a frame of reference.

I think our disagreement is more one of word choice. It seems that you are not liking my use of selfishness to describe these acts. So maybe it would be more productive for me to ask what it is you mean when you say selflessness..

When I say selfishness I am simply referring to looking out for the well being of our own, whether that be ourselves, loved ones, or identifying subcultures. The point is to expand that idea until noone and nothing falls outside of that circle.

Hope your having a great day. :)

I'm not sure what you are trying to suggest about me that The Art of Loving should be a required reading.. lol

Because it answers your original question soo eloquently. If you get a chance to read it (it is a fairly small read) then call me back with a reply and we can take it from there.