Have you read any Zygmunt Bauman?
In chapter 1 of his book 'thinking sociologically' he outlines the functional necessity of basically having to ignore people in a large city or society of millions of people - so I don't think we are strangers to each other because of social control, it just has to be that way - I can't be 'an individual' or maintain close personal relationships without ignoring most people.
However, this does raise the tricky question of ethics - so he's derived this moral imperative (based on Levinas) of always 'being for the other' in whatever we do... as a basis for trust in large societies. It's kind of a radical moral responsibility which I think ties in with what your suggesting.
He also suggests that the issue of what is moral will always be ambiguous, and always open for discussion, a kind of future that is necessarily slightly uncomfortable as we work through our differences.
If you haven't read any, you might enjoy it, he's fundamentally for individuals taking responsibility rather than relying on whatever agents to do it for them!