Like many other rules etched in the stone, the rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" has prevailed so long that people deem it true without questioning it. The paradox of the so called rule and what genuinely feels right in reality is not so blatant, actually it is so hidden that when we are confused we don't know what goes wrong.
The following scenario repeatedly show up in my life. My mother, who is a self-assured individual, enjoys giving me unsolicited advice. Feeling offended and my autonomy of decision making infringed, I would tell her every time that I would prefer to be left alone. She on the other hand would refute that the advice is out of good will on her part, and she would appreciate I do the same to her. Let's assume that is true and that she does appreciate people giving her advice without her reaching out for it, then it fits into the rule "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" perfectly right? But does it feel right? If it did, why do I feel seriously violated and yet it seems irrefutable when she pulls that out? After some contemplation, I came to the conclusion that this rule is fallible. It reflects sheer arrogance and disregards other individuals' needs as unique and personal.
This presumption has caused a lot of conflicts in romantic relationships as well. We love our partner the way we want to be loved. It usually doesn't turn out very well because in doing so we are only paying attention to our own needs, not theirs.
It makes more sense to revise it to "Do unto others as they would love to be done unto" and love each other the way they want to be loved.