we built our societies on hierarchies, that's how the system works, military is the part of the big system and it's built on the hierarchy too. To resolve this issue, we have to built our societies based on different system, chain of the command from few elite to the rest of population will always produce wars, where majority of low ranking people will follow command of superiors. Plus they know you want to survive, so you will try to shoot first
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I agree that society is built on hierarchy, and to argue otherwise is nonsense, but I'm not sure what you're getting at.