Sometimes something happens and you know it's right - the feeling tells all... more like perceptions, or a mix between the two. You don't have words for a lot of them... when I was young I didn't understand these things, they had no meaning or significance. These things are the guiding force of our lives during certain times, and not just major life decisions, but down to the things we say and do on a daily basis. When we talk, beneath the words are intuitive communications that we all commonly know, whether or not we are aware. Sometimes going back and forth with the normal established cues and reciprocation's of our language can be a strain on our own integrity - just a middle man to go through, taking his cut. I have to stop sometimes and ponder what I was about to say, what I've been taught, and translate it to what is really to be given in that moment, be it words, or just a sound of some kind, or maybe silence. We are complex animals, and just that - animals. We have no use for obligations to see the bright side of things, to act happy all the time, unless to uphold some kind of identity of culture or nationality, something to represent for those foreign to us. I don't buy into it, and I couldn't give a fuck for what is held as our kind, that which has been said or agreed on as the reality of what life is. I'm solely a human being, and I trust no idea that does not ring true with my intuition. Nothing is to be said for floating in the tide of modern myth. Searching for truth is what brings real value into life - the confidence and clarity of emotions, the infallible arguments, all the potent dynamics of being. It's what gives us a basis of life that's much more grounded than the alternative. The deflection of questionable words or actions is fueled by an underlying need to be real and defend the inherent quality we have, being alive.
Written on 2012.04.23