from a non-humanitarian, utilitarian point of view, I would say it it necessary to help yourself first; in fact only to help others when that help comes at little cost to yourself.
to make it clear though, helping friends and family (kith and kin, your in-group, your tribe) is helping yourself as a mutually supporting network. OTOH, that means being wary of helping people in your kith and kin group that never reciprocate help (or gratitude).
because once you start taking chunks out of yourself (time, energy, emotion, $), you are hurting yourself. if you make it a habit to pull chunks out of yourself, sooner or later there will be nothing left
and if you do have the extra resources to give, and feel the need to, why not?
just be careful
- dont help deadbeats that never help themselves, you are only creating a burden on yourself...and on others
- dont help those that are ideologically opposed to you (if you choose to help these people based on the argument that are are trying to make them allies -a) that is actually helping yourself, and b) probably wont work anyhow, refer to history)
- dont help the ungrateful
- NEVER ask, or expect, others to help you with helping. this is your decision, in particular, when you are helping deadweight.
I think we’d see a rise in people who have been trained to believe they have to be dependent on others and can not depend on themselves. There would be more expectations and, perversely, some instances of ingratitude where the disconnect grows between the personal cost of producing value and the entitlement mentality of deserving it with no personal effort
I think the is the human norm; most people are lazy. See any system where welfare is employed, and you'll see a large chunk of people (I really cant tell if it's a majority or a plurality) plop down into a cycle of dependence and resentment.
Instead, I suggest that people look to those that need help, and recruit those that are deserving into your tribe, making it clear that they are to reciprocate when they can; building them as humans to become needed by others in turn
Thanks! Great analysis. I do think tribes are a good approach, but I wonder how we can avoid the negative aspects of tribalism.
I usually say there are three kinds of things that screw up goverance; rent-seeking, do-gooding, and tribalism.
the first two always have negative effects...but tribalism can be good or bad. It just depends on the values of the tribe.
If you get a chance,check out "Forging The Hero" by John Mosby
http://warhammersixpress-com.3dcartstores.com/Forging-the-Hero-Who-Does-More-Is-Worth-More_p_12.html