I have a strange view of healthy competition, a view that not many people seem to hold.
Beating someone isn't enough.
One can win the race but, in my eyes, that doesn't make you a winner, no matter how loudly the crowd cheers or how many autographs and pats on the back are received. What I think is that in most cases, the way people look at winning is fundamentally flawed as they focus on what is behind them, not what is in front.
You might say: There is nothing in front of them, they won, but you'd be wrong. It is very possible that those behind them are the winners. Sure, they are slower, weaker and less talented but, if they pushed themselves to the absolute limits, they have conquered what few in this world have, themselves.
The whole understanding of competition needs review in my thinking, as it doesn't drive for the best of an individual, it drives for the best in comparison to others. That is not the best, it is good enough. But, good enough for what? To get a sponsorship deal, a few votes, some coin?
For me healthy competition is an exploration of possibility, an investigation of trials to see how good one can be, and that requires a team. A group that supports by pushing and pulling, experimenting and failing together. It requires integrity within each member to fulfill their duty, to do what they can, to overcome themselves.
This is what true winning is, overcoming the self to be one's best even if that best is nowhere near the front of the pack. The champions in this world are not necessarily at the front, they are the ones clawing with all their might at the back. The ones that no matter the conditions, no matter the pain they may experience or the hooks that pull them backward, they continue doing their best and, even if they fall, they know that they had nothing left to give.
Fill a world with people like that and impossible truly is nothing for what that means is, all that exists is possibility, and that always lays in front, never behind. If there is still possibility, there is still work to be done. If you have the power to close that gap yet do not take that opportunity, you have lost. Tomorrow, that might change though, you might win.
When I was young my parents never taught me to compete and even though I played many sports, they rarely even watched my play. For me, winning was for me but it was always tempered, always reserved, always careful not to push others too hard. I never wanted them to feel bad. I did them a disservice, I did myself a disservice.
Not doing my best didn't push them to do their best but, that is something they would have to take upon their shoulders of responsibility. Me not doing my best is something I have to shoulder. It spilled into other areas of my life, most would call it coasting. If one is coasting, even at the front of the pack, that is not winning.
So now, I take the view, winning is everything. It has to be this way as it is the only method to reach potential, the only way to be the best is to overcome all that isn't it. This winning I speak of doesn't need you though, it doesn't need a trophy, or money or upvotes, it doesn't need consensus.
I fail at this each day. Every single day there are times I hold back, times I do not push myself as far as I could, as far as I should. Everyday my mind and body throws up hurdles to overcome, challenges to face and even though I fall often, I am getting there, and learning a lot along the way.
There is no winning in this game, no chance to ever complete the round successfully as time is too short and possibility too endless.
But, perhaps this is the point of the game, the bitter sweet flavour of life. At that final hurdle you can look back and see how far you have come, how far you have carried the torch. You can look forward and see all the possibility that vanishes into the distance and know you will not get past that last wall, you will never see what is to come.
At that last moment, that is all you can be, there is nothing more you can do, that is your everything. But, the torch you have carried will continue on.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
I enjoyed your post. I’m a competitive soul...and I proud to be like this.
I’m not satisfied with myself if I’m not doing my best every time, independently of the action.
This behavior brings me both, satisfaction and sometimes frustration as well since sometimes you simply cannot do better.
That’s why I’m a runner...I’m feeling satisfied with myself and I keep my frustration away.
Thanks for writing this motivational post.
I think running is one of those 'against the self' pursuits as you push racing clocks and adjusting diets, training for balance, speed, stamina and all the other details but, on the day, there is only you. And at the wall, you find out if the training needs improvement for next time but, right now, you have a road infront and work to do.
@tarazkp are you a runner? If so, maybe you would be interested on joining @runningproject initiative. I created it a few months ago and it tries to promote the runner’s community at steemit.
FYI: https://steemit.com/runningproject/@runningproject/the-steem-running-project-7th-status-report-we-are-already-46-approved-runners
No, I am not. I hit the wall about 400 metres from my door ;) But if I come across some, I will send them your way.
Hahahaha!
Well, you have the soul of an athlete! Anyway, very good post!
I used to be very competitive. Truth be told I still am. I agree as long as you have done your best and have left nothing behind then you have won. Whether it is in business or sport or something else if you commit you do it fully.
Every day has its challenges, all we can ever do is our best in the moment. But the next moment is new and we now know more than we did in the last.
Agreed. Life is a race of sorts. Just have to learn on the go and be prepared for the next curved ball. Some cope better than others and that is down to mind set and commitment with a huge chunk of luck. Imagine joining Steemit in a year from now. It's challenging enough now but then.
I have been sitting here for 19 minutes . Going over this . After all were not talking about a hot dog eating contest . Life is about looking back , seeing where you are now . What kind of person you were , what kind of person are you now .
What is winning ?
A person once ask , after a major battle . "What is Jerusalem to you ? " The answer was " Nothing , Everything "
I think 'Nothing, Everything' is the way it is. It is utterly meaningless yet, it is what delivers meaning.
Yes That was an incredible response . It was something that has stuck with me for many years . I think the meaning will go over most people's head . You must be really tall :)
I used to play tennis with a professional volleyball player. We were pretty evenly matched in tennis but one day I had quite a lead on him and I felt bad so I let up. Big mistake. He read me the riot act saying “Never let up! Close out the game! I don’t want your charity!”
As a professional he could tell I was letting up and he knew that we wouldn’t get any better if I let up. Also, you often find that you will lose momentum and then the match when you let the player back in the game. All very valuable lessons when trying to become your best.
However, I would be careful saying that winning is everything because that could lead some to justify cheating. (Bidbots?) For example those with more knowledge or power have an advantage over those who don’t. It is no longer a level playing field and you can’t get better if you’re not allowed to.
Healthy competition is getting everyone evenly matched and then we can all get better together.
There are times for charity but, if someone is comfortable in their own skin, they can take the loss and feel good about themselves.
This is the thing isn't it? Winning at what cost? How much harm are you willing to do to others to be the "top." If you pay for that position, it isn't earned. How is that the best?
Exactly. We see it in today’s politics. Win at any cost including the country’s. People will protect and defend the most absurd and dangerous behavior just because he’s “our guy.” Tribalism 'trumps' reason.
Good take on competition.
My competition is yesterday. Can I do better today than yesterday?
John Wooden, UCLA basketball coach decades ago, set a bar with championships that will never be reached again. He NEVER talked about winning. Didn't even mention it.
Really good points you make here.
This is it.
This is intended to provoke you, I get like that sometimes:
If healthy competition requires cooperation in teams, imagine what we humans could do in full cooperation instead of competition. Linux, anyone? This is also why countries that implement a war economy throw competition out and expect all businesses to cooperate.
A war economy or indeed the bringing together of action via a common enemy has proven a very efficient way to get things done. The target might be wrong and the forcing nature of the authority too but, one based on betterment of opportunity through voluntary action would achieve the same. The problem is of course that people only volunteer for the things that benefit them directly, even if they will have just as large or larger indirect benefits from pulling their weight for others.
I don't know enough about Linux :P
I think the winner is the person who works the hardest and gives his all. We're all different, everyone has a different maximum, a different breaking point, so it doesn't matter if mine is at 20 and yours at 10.
If we've both given 10, then you're the winner, cause you're giving your all :)
Yep, this is how I see it too. the maximum doesn't matter, as long as it is visited each day, some days more successfully than others.
I like the way you think and write.
It is appreciated.
I like this story,the words full of vigor, struggling to be a true winner is not easy, is very inspired for me thanks @tarazkp for sharing
I never imagined this point of view, but now that I read and interpret it, I feel that you are right, our competition does not have to be someone else, we should not fight for applause and medals, that if we strive to exceed our goals, to reach our dreams, that if we improve our record of yesterday? It would be really interesting to start educating ourselves under other objectives, strive to be better for yourself and you will see yourself as a winner without caring about the recognition of others, a reading without waste, as always, thanks for sharing, I can go to sleep happy for what I learned, happy night.
Sorry for mistakes, use of translator
Sometimes you will be at the front of the pack, sometimes not but, it will always be at the peak of the self. Combine it with the peaks of others and there is greatness to be found.
Very kind of you to say, I appreciate your happy day.
There are people who think that the important thing is not to win but to compete. In the game of life sometimes you win but others lose, so it is good to recognize successes and failures as parts of life itself.
We're all in the same game just different levels.
Great post. Competition and improvement is everything. Unfortunately for society, the narrative being pushed is that you should just accept who you are. Of course we must in some respect, but to just sit there and not try to improve is wrong. So many health problems come from obesity yet people are being told there is nothing wrong with being overweight.
Accept your flaws today, improve upon them tomorrow.
I so agree with all you have written @tarazkp and I believe you are very blessed to have such wise parents. Competition starts with our siblings. Yes, it is a natural tendency to compare and want what someone else has and if fairness is not practised and favouritism occurs on a regular basis children become insecure and learn very early on to fight for attention or for something that is not theirs whether they really want it or not. If an unhealthy competitive spirit isn’t nipped in the bud at a very early age, a person can strive for the rest of their lives trying to compete and outdo everyone within their circle and never be satisfied. It is a hard habit to break out of, and even harder for one to recognise that was is driving them is a frustrating, elusive, and never ending path of comparisons and competitiveness. I love what you say about coasting.....if you are coasting along and are in the lead that is not winning. For many people, winning comes easily and they get bored when they reach goals others struggle hard to achieve. The worst mistake they can make is to settle back and continue to coast without challenging themselves to do even better. There will always be hurdles to overcome......and if we look for our own Mt Everest we will continue to climb and hopefully in the process, reach out and help others climb higher than what they did the day before too.