Reward is the same as punishment, i.m.o. Always praising someone all the time does not give self esteem either. I think being honest helps a lot. I see a lot of fake praising.
Maybe it's not even the doing something that's giving someone self esteem.
But the not doing. Giving room to experience and experiment, learn, make mistake and maybe learn from or experience natural consequenses/ punishment (as I call them). (and natural reward)
All that instant gratification, protecting and suffocating does not do much good.
I think the amount of freedom I had has helped build self esteem. Finding things out for myself, conquering problems, being able to solve things on my own . that stuff.
I think I would not be a happy child in this instant gratification, oh your the best in everything, world But I'm not a child anymore.
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I used to teach inner city kids and I had a number of Albanian immigrants and they always did very well despite being new immigrants and not speaking English at first, they told me that the teachers there have sticks, not small ones, and if you misbehave they beat you, and if you go home all beaten your parents don't complain or sue the school or wipe your tears, they beat you again for misbehaving at school. I used to think that if I actually had a stick I would almost never have to use it and there would be a whole lot less misbehavior, and then the kids would learn a lot more. In nature there are carrots and sticks, it's probably not optimal to rely on either one exclusively.
I feel bad for kids today, I bet a lot of them wish their parents would slap them, anything to not be ignored for the smart phone. Have you seen these families out to dinner with each person on their device not interacting with each other at all?