Society has a lot to say about you if you are still living at home past a certain age. And this seems to be the case for more individuals these days as an increasing number get out of school, loaded with student loan debt, and unable to find a job. Real estate bubbles fueling sky-rocketing house prices, thanks to the Federal Reserve and its low interest rates, also haven't been helping the matter.
Back only a couple of decades ago, it seemed like you didn't need that great of a job and yet you could still afford to get a home and live on your own, but now millions of people are finding it's difficult to get by even when both parents are out in the work force.
My friend Steven just turned 32 and he still lives at home while trying to save up for his own place, and while trying to pay off student loans and other debts. He could technically move out on his own now, he has the ability and funds to, but if he did then he would struggle with a much lower standard of living. Instead of choosing that option, he decides to stay right where he is because that way he can have a higher standard of living; although he'll need to put-up with the negative judgments from others about choosing to still live at home.
For some people they really just can't get along with their families for too much time and for their own sanity and healthy it's probably better that they separate and try to live on their own. But for the families that can get along and work positively and peacefully together as a network, what drawback is there to living at home past a certain age, aside from the negative judgments associated with it? If anything, I see a lot of benefit that can be had from living this way.
For example, my friend Karen and her husband still choose to live at home with her family. They have a beautiful home with lots of room for everyone and there are at the moment 7 people living in the house, because the grandparents live downstairs while the parents and kids live upstairs.
The grandparents are always there to babysit the kids, cook when its needed, and the kids and parents can offer the grandparents help too whenever they need it, like rides to the doctor or grocery store, or maybe help with some yard work. They work together peacefully and voluntarily in order to help each other and they all benefit from it and are able to have a higher standard of living because of it.
It's easy to shame people who still live at home but I try not to be too quick in rushing to judgment because you never know what circumstances brought them there. And for all I know they could be enjoying a much higher standard of living than my own, who am I to judge? I think there can be a lot of benefit to living with family so that you can help one another and it also helps to save potentially hundreds if not thousands of dollars.
I agree with you. I think it was my father's generation (he would be 83 if still alive) when people started to frown down upon adult children living at home and stigmatizing the practice.
My uncle made a detailed genealogy of my family and there was always at least one child who stayed and lived with their parents, sometimes married, sometimes not, but always at least one. It was how houses were passed from generation to generation. Most of other children seemed to always live near by. If not on the same block, then usually within a couple of streets. One or two might move further afield, but most stayed near by, unless there was a famine or another tragedy. Those stories ended with my father's generation.
I find it funny that we revere family farms; farms that have been in the family for umpteen generations, yet the reason those farms stay in the family is because at least one of the children stayed at home. It's nostalgic, something to be proud of, it's 'murica! Yet those same people will call you a neck-bearded mamma's boy if you're not out of the house by 18 or at least as soon as you are out of college. Cognitive dissidence at it's finest.
Thanks for expressing your thoughts on this matter. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for sharing your unique and relate-able story! especially growing up in this world where the truth is not popular i was faced with tough decisions all of which i am proud of but have left me without much work to leave my dignity intact. there is a future for those like me 24 with many skills, experience, and few outlets. takes more than a minute to rebuild the world from the ground up ^_=)!
In Asian culture, living with parents is very common and is accepted as a way of life. Sometimes, even after marriage, the children will still stay with their parents.
Souther-European families are close together too. In Greece a lot of parents actually build 2-3 story houses to accommodate the needs of the children for when they grow up and make their own family... Something like ground floor: parents, 1st floor kid A, 2nd floor kid B...
what an amazing perspective, thank you both for sharing. it really is a natural thing not to be shamed out of by multinational corporations.
Oh man I can definitely relate to this. Living home shouldn't be shamed at all.
I think it's smarter to be patient and save up to buy a house in cash. Mortgages are a huge waste of money. There's nothing wrong with living at home really, people probably just want everyone else to struggle along with them.
i am really a fan of multigenerational living. not only can it be more economical but it can be revealing to truly understand where you come from, and rewarding to have a base that you can relate to. Nobody grew up with the same trauma you did.... except the ones you grew up with haha! Cheers, Wonderful Article. Btw... Many different cultures much older than ours have dealt with multi generational families for thousands of years. wonderful article, thank you!
Not too long ago it was common for multiple generations to live under one roof. Granparents, their kids and grandkids. The grandparents raised the little ones while the older ones worked (on the farm)
It worked out pretty good for thousands of years.
Although I left 'home' as soon as I could (17yr old in '76) I believe multi-generational housing is the smartest and most beneficial housing choice for all participants. My father grew up in a 3 generational household (Italians in SF) and I believe sharing life, housing, chores and expenses is the way we are engineered to thrive at a fundamental level. For most of our species existence we have lived as tribes and extended families to share in the abundance and challenges of negotiating human life on earth. Like wolf packs, we are stronger together........ Just my pov. thanks for this useful and timely conversation!!!! oc