I can totally relate to what you've written about, people who are the worst, bringing out the best in us. I'm now away from my best friend, and in my sober moments, I realize that, every minute with him is educational, inspiring, questioning, even though it annoys the hell outta me. I plan to retrace my steps back to him, it's profitable.
Secondly, I've discovered that whatever I do, I do for me. I'm willing to be my best for me, I'm willing to work my hardest for me. This might seem selfish, but if I'm not happy and content with myself, I can't give/share happiness to whoever, be it parents, or siblings, whom I feel obligated to, or friends, or life partner, or childeren(on the long run).
What you describe here is called sacred selfishness and there’s nothing wrong with it at all.
Sacred Selfishness, huh?
Google it
I have. Bud Harris' book seems interesting. I'll check it out, Thanks.
This.
Once this is realised than the pride of action falls away, feeling of goodness can reduce and instead be replaced by compassion.