Parsley is the Victim of a Terrible Conspiracy. The Vegetable Elites are Corrupt. Includes Recipe for Quinoa Tabbouleh.

Major media outlets are not reporting on this. They won’t because they’re deep in the pockets of powerful interest groups. You heard it here first: The vegetable world is corrupt. It’s dominated by a few elites, including carrots, lettuce, broccoli, spinach, and tomatoes. A handful of wealthy families control everything and set the agenda for many peoples’ dinner plates.

Want proof? Broccoli, kale, cauliflower, cabbage, collard greens, and brussels sprouts are all owned by the same powerful vegetable family. That’s right; they’re all brassicas. In fact, some are even the same species. How is that for corruption and nepotism? No wonder they control so much real estate in the produce sections of supermarkets, grocery stores, and markets.

Broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower sell more? Of course they do. They own like half the freaking market space. Source: Still image from https: //youtu.be/0g_SER121Dc (space added to address to prevent embedding).

Not only does this limit consumers’ choices, but it undermines would-be vegetable contenders like parsley. Sure, they call it an herb. But “herb” is such a demeaning label. Calling parsley an “herb” is their way of marginalizing this vegetable’s immense talents and contributions. If you’ve ever had tabbouleh, scrambled eggs with parsley, parsley pesto, or parsley tacos, you know that it’s far more than an herb.

Public Domain via Pixabay.

What is an herb, anyway? It’s something you sprinkle in smaller quantities. An herb has an intense flavor that adds its strong character to a dish, such as oregano, rosemary, or dill. An herb is not something mild to chop in great quantity. Parsley fits that description, either raw or cooked, and a mere sprinkle of it adds nothing. Like so many other vegetable victims (salsify, fiddleheads, and cardoon; I'm looking at you!), parsley’s full potential has never been unleashed.

How would you like to be dried up, irradiated, and put in a small spice shaker?

source: It's a dollar bill, y'all!.

I won’t swallow that herbal kool-aid. Parsley is a vegetable, not an herb, and only a conspiracy has held it down. Powerful interests have prevented it from taking its rightful place in the veggie world. Let no one tell you otherwise.

With that in mind, here is a modern, healthy twist on a classic Mediterranean-Middle Eastern favorite that features lots of parsley.

Quinoa tabbouleh with the lettuce option. Creative Commons via Flickr by Lablascovegmenu.

Quinoa Tabbouleh (Recipe)
Ingredients
1 cup quinoa
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup parsley, chopped (flat leaf variety is best)
1 cup tomatoes, chopped
1/2 cup Lebanese or English cucumber, chopped
1/4 cup mint, chopped
1/4 cup chives, diced (may substitute 2 scallions)
1/2 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice, freshly squeezed
1 small garlic clove, crushed
1/4 teaspoon black pepper, freshly ground
Additional lemon juice, salt and black pepper, to taste

Variation: Substitute shredded lettuce and carrots for tomatoes and cucumbers
Stronger flavored option: 1/4 teaspoon each of spices: allspice, cinnamon, coriander, fenugreek, nutmeg, and powdered ginger (for something a little less spicy, use only the first few of these)
Optional: 1/4 cup feta cheese, crumbled

Directions
This recipe substitutes quinoa for the bulgur wheat. Authentic Middle Eastern tabbouleh uses even less grain with more parsley and mint, so you can vary proportions as you wish, using more or less lemon juice, salt, and black pepper to taste.

First, cook the quinoa in 2 cups of salted, boiling water. Cook uncovered and stir for 12-15 minutes until water is gone, stirring it as needed. Quinoa should be cooked and fluffy.

Second, mix lemon juice, olive oil, and crushed garlic in a bowl.

Chop vegetables and herbs. Using a bowl, mix them into the quinoa, covering with the lemon dressing and stirring.

Add additional salt, pepper, and spices to taste.

Cover the bowl and chill tabbouleh in the refrigerator. This dish can be eaten cold. It’s delicious with romaine lettuce, which you can use as a wrap. It also goes well with pita bread, hummus, falafel, and other Mediterranean and Middle Eastern dishes.

Then say it with me three times: “Parsley is a vegetable!”

Thumbnail image: Public Domain, Pixabay. Bottom image: Quinoa tabblouleh. Createive commons via Flickr by Mack Male.