There really isn't anything I could say that would help for such a great loss :(
"Condolences for your loss"... not really. It seems such a small statement in the face of such grief...
I can only send virtual support and strength for you at this time. Strength to keep going...
It will pass... as all things do... but with time only and I can't make that happen faster for you either. I wish I could.
I also send patience... for your own process and the grief you are in, the stages of it you will move backward, forwards and (ultimately) through... to find some kind of acceptance with this enormous loss.
And courage... for you to allow all of the feelings to come and go and be with them until they are settled.
Thank you for sharing. It's brave. It's human. It's why I'm here. People like you.
If you feel you are struggling then it's worth having a look at the 5 stages of grief. It's the most complicated of all human processes... grief. And it isn't linear. It circles back... moves forward.. circles back again. It's best to allow it. To share it (as you're doing)... to be in it fully... so that one can grief and come to some kind of peace...
It can be a very grounding process as well. And quite isolating so please... share and reach out.
Much warmth