I remember the way that a smile used to feel. Not on my face, but in my in my chest.
In my throat.
The tightening that accompanies childlike elation, it choked me until I finally gasped with laughter, and inhaled the warmth of joy.
I remember the way that it felt to cry.
My long dried eyes have aged into jars that hold my tears tight like a consoling mothers arms. Or fireflies.
My face stays calm, and I sigh.
The tightening that I felt in my chest and throat mirrored happiness until I finally gasped in a sob, and inhaled the dampness from my pillow.
I remember fear.
It felt so real to quiver and squeeze with my hands around my knees, sucking and biting down in the inside on my cheek. The expectation of a terrible thing, quenched by the relief of incorrect prophesies.
The tightening in my chest and throat mirrored sadness until I finally gasped and caught my baited breath in relief.
I feel it all again, after so long.
After so many numb days. I feel it in my chest, and throat. It will mirror my innocence, until I never gasp again.
Love it - real struggle/turmoil felt.
Thank you.