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RE: Erased - Original Poem

in #poetry7 years ago

I love this poem. From the first line: "if I were on paper, would you erase me?", it tracks a brilliant metaphor through its various implications with a precision and delicacy that expose layers of meaning both intricate and beautiful. Each question asked is heart wrenching, raw, and vulnerable in a new and different way.

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What a lovely comment, @bennetitalia. Thank you!!! I’m a fan of you, your words. Your music. Happy to have found you here....
Strangely enough, when I wrote this, it felt almost a song. You can feel free to play with it that way if you like:-)

Hmmmm... it would make a good song. It would require a significant structural overhaul tho, the free form of the poem is beautiful but not suited to the straightforward verse-chorus-verse structure of most songs. Would you want to try your hand at rewriting it as lyrics? If so (or even if you can get them a little closer, so I'm not messing with your personal voice too much) I'll edit them (if needed) and add music.

I'm a fan of yours too :)