I think first of all you know what it means to work on a poem. I like the theme/atmosphere of a dance. You used many "elements" [the moon, the dancing, wind/earth, ..] and maybe they need to have a stronger relation between them. I like that you "return" many times to the "dance" theme [steps, notes, sounds, etc] so you make a strong bond with that, you create a pattern. Good luck
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