Just for you @girlwithoutwings <3 <3 <3 also tagging @moeknows as they requested that, oh and @rensoul - beautiful people xxxx
OK - so this is a very special steemit work. Basically, for those who don't know, I've struggled with seronegative arthritis since 2013 but have been using low fat, plant based healing to recover since 2014 - and was doing very well. So well in fact, that over the space of 2 years, I managed to not only get in remission, but also lower my meds somewhat and compete in (and finish!) a 75km mountain biking competition in September 2015. Then everything went wrong. Basically, my hospital care collapsed and the stress caused mental issues, rapidly followed by physical. My hips 'went' in the most agonising way possible and i was left virtually unable to walk for 18 months - with a useless smattering of disinterested doctors blaming it on my biking. 18 months later an MRI proved it had been the illness (arthritis) all along and a slight med alteration and steroid injection set me back on the path to wellness. I know. wankers.
HOWEVER, I was left broken - in fact, I was left with rather strong evidence of bipolar II - which had the strange side effect of turning me into a poet. Yep, flipping crazy. I was literally awake all night on the year anniversary of the hip incident in an absolute state of distress and grief - unsure if I'd ever be able to walk again (because I'd no idea what was up with me at the time - having been told it wasn't the arthritis), and poetry began to come to me. True story. Even crazier was that I then went on to beat 23 other contestants (and some were flipping GREAT!) to be crowned local poetry slam champion 2017!
SOooooooo to get to the point! Post steroid injection (may 2017), I entered a state of heightened mania and was very prolific with my poetry - then joined steemit where i was able to express how i felt each day - and how i felt about what i'd been through etc, via poetry - mostly Raven related, partly because I was rehabilitating by hiking in Ravensdale (where I always see them), and partly for other reasons related to my medical nightmare.
This epic here - On Ravensdale Hill, is a bringing together of all these poems - and a whole load more - and connecting passages too, and came to me after some resolution had finally been achieved (basically, after a lot of stress/ complaints/ tears etc I managed to break out of the sick, abusive medical system that had totally torn me apart, and change hospitals. ) My medical care is now sooooo much better and with it both my body (hands aside and also spine today!) and mind so much better. I finally feel I'm on the up again (though hey ho - this is seronegative arthritis - who knows?) I'm still on my plant based diet and loving it and though I still can't bike for long or swim yet, I'm able to hike most days and doing MUCH MUCH better.
So here it is, my Ode to Steemit and to all of you who supported and encouraged me throughout last summer - especially @robyneggs actually as her ace little dice comps lit up my every week.I haven't loaded it till now - partly cos of hands which are just beginning to come down again from a steroid jab, and partly because though I'm very happy with it, not so much with the first few seconds - I should have stood still.
Part 2 by the way is on it's way. It's all done - written, memorised, practiced. I've tried to record several times and haven't yet been happy with the result. Will do this over the next couple of weeks so you can view before you forget the first half! (if you enjoy the first half) I think this bit here is about 8 minutes long so grab a cup of tea beforehand and enjoy. ALL my work comes straight from the heart to head to mouth to hand to text. I can't help what's said, it's just as it is.
<3 <3 <3 Love to all of you who gave me the space to breath this into expansion and resolution <3 <3 <3
This is so incrediably powerful @girlwithoutwings, not just your reading and your words, but your story as well.
I can't imagine the strength and determination that you posses to continue to challenge yourself to overcome - and so happy for all those you connected with who supported you, and whom your support has been an equal boon in their lives.
Sharing something this vulnerable is always difficult, but so happy to see you getting out into the nature that you love and moving forward.
Wishing you nothing but the best in the days ahead, @girlwithoutwings - and I think your wings are coming in quite nicely.
Thank you and for the beautiful heart. I just signed up to follow you and saw your little tagline about being 3-D printed love it haha xxx <3
that heart is just a small reflection of the giant heart you carry and the light you bring into the world by being a person of strength for yourself and others, @girlwithoutwings.
honored to have stumbled into eachother in this strange corner of the interweb, and so happy my little tagline found a laugh for you. ^_^
All the best in all you do!! <3